Some narcissists will gaslight, deflect, project, verbally assault, or experience a narcissistic collapse. Depending on the severity of the injury, others may become physically aggressive or incredibly dangerous.
Not all narcissists resort to physical abuse, some never escalate beyond intimidation. Not all physical abusers are narcissists, some have other mental illnesses. But a narcissistic physical abuser is not someone to take lightly. No matter what they say, you cannot make them better.
For this reason, when the narcissist hurts you, they are unable and/or unwilling to understand how their actions negatively affect you. With this lack of empathy, the narcissist can actively engage in repeated abusive behaviors because they don't have to feel how they are making you feel.
They use their abuse as a way to reassert their superiority. The narcissist can be ruthless and unable to empathize with their victim partners. They can even take pleasure in the pain they cause. The narcissist abuses in many ways including verbally, mentally, and even physically.
Narcissists don't know they're hurting you. It doesn't even enter their minds. And, if you try to tell them how you feel, they get defensive and make you feel you're wrong again. In fact, they'll even rather “innocently” tell you: “I'm only trying to help you.”
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism or any perceived threat to their self-image, and they will go to great lengths to protect it. If you criticize them or challenge their dominance, you will trigger a defensive response.
Narcissists exploit those around them through gaslighting, sabotaging, love-bombing, lying, and twisting situations to suit their needs. As a result, victims can suffer long-term effects from their abuse.
As a result, victims become depressed, anxious, lack confidence and they may hide from the spotlight and allow their abusers to steal the show again and again. Realize that your abuser is not undercutting your gifts because they truly believe you are inferior; it is because those gifts threaten their control over you.
Many narcissists, at some point or other, do become aware of the effect their behaviors have on other people, but they are completely indifferent to it.
Sometimes, the narcissist doesn't mean to hurt you. Being sensitive to everything is just how their brains work. And if they are — by their own logic — being attacked, they will bite back even harder. However, by their nature, they may also want to hurt you too, because it makes them feel superior.
While being the target of narcissistic abuse is stressful and hurtful, many narcissists are unaware of how their actions impact others. If they are aware that others feel negatively about them or about their choices, they often lack the ability to take responsibility for their actions or see them as wrong.
Regret can occur if your action hurts someone else, or if it hurts you, including the potential to hurt you. For a narcissist, they can experience regret, but their regret is inward focused and is void of concern for how it could have affected someone else.
Narcissists often use verbal and psychological abuse and violence against those closest to them. Some of them move from abstract aggression (the emotion leading to violence and permeating it) to the physically concrete sphere of violence. Many narcissists are also paranoid and vindictive.
Want to know the best way to win an argument with a narcissist? Don't get involved with one in the first place! Narcissists love a good brawl; it helps feed their narcissistic supply. And they always fight dirty.
Inevitably, because all their energy is invested in maintaining and fueling their grandiose and entitled self-image, their relationships derail and their capacity for psychological growth is stunted. Its pathological extreme can lead to various forms of violence, such as stalking, battering, or murder.
Signs and symptoms of narcissistic abuse syndrome
Long-term abuse can change a victim's brain, resulting in cognitive decline and memory loss. In turn, the changes in the brain can increase the risk for chronic stress, PTSD, and symptoms of self-sabotage.
Some effects of narcissistic abuse include: High levels of shame or feeling inadequate, unworthy, or “not good enough” Excessive self-doubt and difficulty making decisions independently. Codependency or putting other people's feelings and needs before your own.
Grooming a person, manipulating her into doubting her feelings, generating shame regarding her best qualities, and manipulatively creating dependency are four ways a narcissist destroys a person from the inside out.
The four stages of the narcissistic abuse cycle are: Idealization, Devaluation, Repetition, and Discard. In this cycle, a narcissistic partner may love-bomb you, devalue your sense of self over time, repeat the pattern, and eventually, discard you and/or the relationship.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'”
Although narcissists act superior to others and posture as beyond reproach, underneath their grandiose exteriors lurk their deepest fears: That they are flawed, illegitimate, and ordinary.
Hurt the ego, hurt the narcissist
If you hurt their ego in any way, they will react hard and fast. You see, narcissists are all about their ego. That is who they are, what they do, what they believe, and the image they want to show to the world.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.