Punishment and revenge are central to the manifestation of what Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is and means when it comes to relationships.
Because of their overall pessimistic demeanor, they can easily feel slighted and may express this aggressively or hold it in and build resentment. Those with this type of BPD tend to view people in “black and white” terms (known as BPD splitting), so they are likely to hold onto a grudge after feeling insulted.
Vindictive narcissists tend to hold onto grudges, often feel anger and resentment, and find ways to seek revenge against people who they feel wronged by. Because people with NPD often take things personally, they may also be easily offended, upset, or angered by others.
However, those positive attributes are not without the proverbial strings attached; when the BPD explodes with vindictive rage, all they said or gave to their loved one may be taken away in one fell swoop of aggression. BPDs experience the world in extremes: black-and-white or all-or-nothing.
Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there may be something lacking. The BP/NP may regret an action, but it is hard to see true remorse in their response.
People with BPD may experience rage when they perceive rejection, neglect, or abandonment in a relationship. During rage, a person may say or do things that they later regret. This could lead to ending the relationship in the heat of the moment. BPD rage is often followed by significant regret and shame.
Relationships & Borderline Personality Disorder
“We also have intense and sudden mood changes, and we have severe difficulty regulating our emotions. Unintentionally, we tend to blame others when we make a mistake, which causes us to be manipulative and cruel to those we care about.”
They have anger outbursts and become particularly volatile. More often than not, they're not intentionally manipulating others — hence the quotation marks. Although their actions appear malicious, they're just trying to get their needs met.
The destructive and hurtful behaviors are a reaction to deep emotional pain. In other words, they're not about you. When your loved one does or says something hurtful towards you, understand that the behavior is motivated by the desire to stop the pain they are experiencing; it's rarely deliberate.
It is now universally recognized by mental health professionals as a debilitating illness that affects every aspect of a person's life. Borderline personality disorder causes a broad range of reactions that can be considered self-destructive or self-sabotaging.
Common triggers of BPD rage can include: Emotionally challenging situations that seem threatening. Situations where the person fears abandonment. BPD splitting, which is a type of black-and-white thinking where people see things as either all-good or all-bad.
The Karpman drama triangle is a model of three dysfunctional and destructive so- cial behaviors, with each corner of the tri- angle representing a cyclical, toxic role commonly exhibited by patients with BPD: the persecutor, the rescuer, and the victim.
Psychopathy. Pathological lying is in factor 1 of the Psychopathy Checklist (PCL).
Punishment and revenge are central to the manifestation of what Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is and means when it comes to relationships. The struggle of those with BPD relationally, is rooted in a proverbial no-win situation. Borderlines do not know how to cope with intimacy – it leaves them feeling engulfed.
“People with BPD lie often, but it is not because they are pathological liars,” says Nikki Instone, Ph. D. “Lying is not a symptom of the disorder so much as a consequence of their internal battle.” Lying is really rooted in emotional dysregulation, which is one of the main symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder.
Maintaining a relationship with a friend or family member with BPD can be difficult. However, it's important to understand that people with BPD often engage in destructive behaviors not because they intend to hurt you but because their suffering is so intense that they feel they have no other way to survive.
Remember that splitting is a symptom of borderline personality disorder - while it can be difficult not to take their words and actions personally, remember that the person is not intentionally trying to hurt you.
Because of these extreme patterns of thinking, people with borderline personality disorder are prone to slip from one side to the opposite side in their thinking. For example, they might one day believe their partner is the most wonderful, loving person in the world.
Listen as our host speaks candidly with experts, celebrities, and others! If this describes your relationship, you are not alone. Something that is important to remember is that people with BPD generally do not mean to be abusive. They are reacting in response to emotional pain that they cannot tolerate.
Research suggests that 45 percent of people who engage in stalking behaviour have borderline personality disorder although the proportion among people convicted of stalking crimes is lower at 4 to 15 percent [1].
People with BPD are often on edge. They have high distress and anger levels, so they may be easily offended.
How Selfishness Manifests in Borderline Personality Disorder. According to HealthyPlace, selfishness in the case of BPD arises from unmet needs: People with a borderline personality often report being neglected or abused as children. Consequently, they feel empty, angry, and deserving of nurturing.
Borderline personality disorder is one of the most painful mental illnesses since individuals struggling with this disorder are constantly trying to cope with volatile and overwhelming emotions.
People with borderline personality disorder experience an unstable perception of themselves, which might cause them to feel unlovable. They also experience splitting, a type of all-or-nothing thinking1 which can cause them to see themselves in an extremely negative light.