They are not always toxic. At its full blown best, it can be toxic. It blocks intimacy. It creates distance between partners and leads to breakups and loneliness. One of the common struggles in relationships is a mismatch in emotional expression.
They may use manipulation tactics to prevent you from doing things you enjoy. Sometimes, emotional unavailability and emotional abandonment may also be considered emotional abuse. You may find emotional abuse gradually takes away your freedom, individuality, and sense of self.
“When we say someone is emotionally unavailable, we mean that they are not comfortable feeling their own emotions, sharing emotions with others, or being present and responsive to someone else's emotions,” says Dr.
“When you meet someone who isn't emotionally available, you may notice that their communication behaviors are inconsistent, they pick and choose when they answer you or don't, wait stretches of time before they text you back, hoping to keep you on the line—and all of these are red flags.”
However, some emotionally unavailable people can be very manipulative in treating their partner. Because they're not looking for any long-term relationship, they tend to treat their partners more as just fun objects.
An emotionally unavailable person is typically not willing or able to truly commit to you and be loyal to you. This type of person will often want to keep things casual and undefined so as to not deal with any of the emotional components that go into a long-term relationship.
The emotionally unavailable is elusive, mysterious, and selfish. They often disappear without a word and reappear when it's convenient for them (most likely the 2 AM booty call). They are on their own agenda and can be hard to pin down. They often use charm to get their way.
Traumatic events: There could also be situational causes such as a break-up, divorce, or traumatic experience that can cause people to shut down emotionally in order to maintain everyday functioning, because if they were to feel the extent of their emotions it might be challenging for them to go on living their lives.
If you need a lot of quality time, affection, and reassurance, an emotionally unavailable partner is not the right fit for you. If you find yourself constantly pursuing your partner for more intimacy and closeness, take a moment to really consider if you can do this for the rest of your life.
These people need to first get in touch with their own feelings before they are able to share feelings with their partner. All emotionally unavailable people have bouts of anxiety and/or depression but usually unknown to them because they are so unaware of their feelings.
They struggle to discuss their feelings
Emotionally unavailable people expect closeness, intimacy, and emotional vulnerability to lead to getting hurt, so they often avoid getting emotional entirely. Your efforts to elicit emotions from them may lead them to pull away or redirect conversations back to you.
Emotional availability varies among individuals, regardless of their zodiac sign. While Capricorn, Aquarius, Sagittarius, Gemini, and Virgo are often associated with emotional unavailability, it's important to remember that astrology provides generalizations and that each person is unique.
One partner's emotional unavailability can not only take a toll on the relationship, but it can also put their partner in emotional duress. There are ways to slowly address the causes and manifestations of emotional unavailability, but this can take a lot of patience, time and vulnerability.
There are different types of emotional unavailability and different factors that can contribute to them. We have a tendency to go right to the worst-case scenario when we find ourselves in a relationship with someone who tilts more on the emotionally unavailable side of the spectrum.
It is important to remember that emotional detachment is not a mental health condition, but it might be a symptom of some mental disorders. If you think you might be experiencing symptoms of emotional detachment, you should talk to a doctor or mental health professional.
Emotional unavailability is a coping defense mechanism.
They struggle to express their feelings, be vulnerable, share healthy emotional connections, and maintain meaningful relationships.
Since emotionally unavailable people likely equate closeness and intimacy with being hurt, they tend to pull away the more you try to connect with them.
When you ignore an emotionally unavailable man, there is a possibility that this could trigger an old trauma or hurt. Instead of him opening up or realizing, he might feel you're doing the same thing again. This is why it's also important to understand what happened or what triggered him to be like this.
Emotionally unavailable people and why we choose them
Another potential reason for choosing emotionally unavailable partners is because we're afraid of getting hurt. If we choose a partner that always remains at arm's length emotionally, we think we can protect ourselves from the pain of abandonment or betrayal.
Many emotionally unavailable individuals struggle with issues of insecurity and low self-esteem. As a result, they often cannot sustain the deep emotional bonds that a healthy relationship requires.
They have difficulty connecting with others
Like a lack of empathy, an emotionally unavailable person may find it hard to get deeper with those around them. Ultimately, this can make it harder to form a worthwhile connection, according to Torres-Mackie.
Jealousy is about a lot of things, including insecurity, immaturity, and fear. Emotionally unavailable men may experience jealousy more intensely because they bottle up their feelings.
He likes taking you to events
One of the clear signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you is when he begins to invite you to various events. You will meet his friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and the likes at these events. He will introduce you to them because you're not an ordinary person in his life.
Be Patient. Give your partner time and space if he or she needs it to process their emotions or the events that took place; don't let your anxiety and desire for certainty drive you to push your partner, husband, or wife to open up or share. Respect that each person has a way they processes, and so do you.