Although polygamy is practiced in various cultures, humans still tend toward monogamy. But this was not always the norm among our ancestors. Other primates – the mammalian group, to which humans belong – are still polygamous, too.
1. Our romantic drives are loosely coupled networks. Probably the biggest factor in why it is hard to remain monogamous is that there are several drives built into us that contribute to reproduction, but they do not work in unison.
According to the New York Times, a 2011 paper showed that early humans, or hominids, began shifting towards monogamy about 3.5 million years ago—though the species never evolved to be 100% monogamous (remember that earlier statistic).
Benefits include the (relative) certainty of access to the partner's reproductive potential, but the chief disadvantage is that access to other potential partners is strongly diminished, particularly in those cases where males exhibit strong mate-guarding behavior.
Contrary to popular belief, most women benefit from polygynous society, and most men benefit from monogamous society.
Social monogamy can also be advantageous for the female: she has help from a social partner in raising her offspring, but she can also mate with other males who may be genetically “better.” The disadvantage for the male in this scenario is that he is most likely helping to raise offspring that are not his own.
Only 17 percent of human cultures are strictly monogamous. The vast majority of human societies embrace a mix of marriage types, with some people practicing monogamy and others polygamy. (Most people in these cultures are in monogamous marriages, though.)
There is little doubt that the “natural” mating system for human beings is polygamy, which includes two different reproductive arrangements: polygyny and polyandry. In polygyny, one man mates with more than one woman, a “harem” as traditionally understood. In polyandry, one woman mates with more than one man.
John Gill comments on 1 Corinthians 7 and states that polygamy is unlawful; and that one man is to have but one wife, and to keep to her; and that one woman is to have but one husband, and to keep to him and the wife only has a power over the husband's body, a right to it, and may claim the use of it: this power over ...
Monogamy is not simply unrealistic; it is unnatural. You do not find it often in the animal kingdom, and where you do it is generally born of an evolutionary necessity. The necessity of monogamy among humankind has evaporated.
For humans, monogamy is not biologically ordained. According to evolutionary psychologist David M. Buss of the University of Texas at Austin, humans are in general innately inclined toward nonmonogamy.
Toxic monogamy dictates that there is a hierarchy for love, with the romantic relationship on top. One must forsake all else—anything that threatens The Relationship, and even at times friends and family—in order to protect The Relationship.
As Christianity emerged in the Roman Empire in the first centuries AD, it embraced monogamy and took it further, insisting that two people must reserve their bodies and desires for each other, marriage becoming 'an everlasting threesome with God'.
Bible Gateway 1 Corinthians 7 :: NIV. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
A second marriage may be seen as an act of sin by some, but this perspective is not universally accepted. Even the Bible does not explicitly deny remarriage; many people find happiness in their second marriages. God will bless a second marriage if it is entered into with respect, love, and faithfulness to one another.
The higher the average intelligence of the population, the more monogamous the society is.
Practically, the justification for being in a polygamous relationship differs for men and women. Most men do so, because of their desire to have a larger number of offspring and most effectively increase their fitness by having many sexual partners.
Only about 2% of the global population lives in polygamous households, and in the vast majority of countries, that share is under 0.5%.
Recent discoveries have led biologists to talk about the three varieties of monogamy: social monogamy, sexual monogamy, and genetic monogamy. The distinction between these three are important to the modern understanding of monogamy.
This means that of all marriages, 58 per cent are monogamous. Only men in the top 10 per cent of status married more than two women. The most wives that anyone has is four.
In human beings, the most common type of mating system is the monogamous type. In the monogamous type of mating system, a male mates with the single female. In human societies, the marriages are observed as monogamous type. At ancient times people used to had polygamy.
Reasons a person might choose monogamy:
You enjoy feeling special and uniquely prioritized by a romantic partner. You struggle with maintaining many relationships at the same time, whether because of limited time or limited energy. You like the simplicity of having just one relationship to nurture.
In humans, Schacht and Bell (2016) found that mate guarding rather than paternal care leads to monogamy, as monogamy allows males to maintain high paternity. Likewise, Lukas and Clutton-Brock (2013) suggested that in non-human mammals, male care is a consequence rather than a cause of monogamy.
We are termed 'socially monogamous' by biologists, which means that we usually live as couples, but the relationships aren't permanent and some sex occurs outside the relationship.
Ancient Greeks
Like many Western societies, the ancient Greeks and Romans were monogamous on paper (men could not marry more than one woman, for instance, nor could they live with their concubines), but not so much in practice, particularly if you were a man.