Unhealthy Jealousy Eventually, jealous people feel so overwhelmed by their emotions and insecurities that they begin to exert control over their partners. They may resort to financial abuse, verbal bullying, and violence in order to maintain control and alleviate or mask their feelings.
D., explains: “Jealousy can lead to people to become controlling, possessive and even potentially abusive… If you are consumed with jealousy, it may feel like passion or love on the surface, but it is distinctly different.
Jealous people usually are insecure and have low self-esteem. Their insecurity can manifest in many different ways. Jealousy is very unhealthy and can affect the person who harbors jealousy as well as the person whom someone envies. It can scar him or her psychologically.
People that are prone to intense jealousy or possessiveness often harbor feelings of inadequacy or inferiority and have a tendency to compare themselves to others. Jealousy, at its core, is a byproduct of fear, fear of not being good enough, fear of loss.
What is the difference between Jealous and Possessive? Jealous means you are upset about another person getting attention, respect, or love of the person who matters. You are jealous when it is your friend or brother who gets ahead of you in life. Possessive means undue liking for things you feel you own.
Jealousy is often rooted in insecurities and fears that a person may not even realize they have. These could include fear of oversimplification, fear of inadequacy, fear of abandonment, fear of being replaced, and fear of being judged.
Research has identified many root causes of extreme jealousy, including low self-esteem, high neuroticism, and feeling possessive of others, particularly romantic partners. Fear of abandonment is also a key motivator.
Extreme Jealously
When jealousy creeps into a romantic relationship, it can often fester into controlling tactics to assert dominance. “Do not ignore this red flag because it could also lead to an abusive and controlling situation,” says Kelman.
Jealousy becomes toxic for relationships, however, if left unchecked, Freeman adds. Trust is a key component of any healthy, successful relationship. Jealousy breeds suspicion, doubt, and mistrust, which can snowball into pretty intense emotions and behaviors, he says.
Jealousy can come from feelings of low self-esteem or lack of confidence. And when someone is unhappy about themselves, feels anxious and insecure, this can lead to feelings of jealousy and being out of control. Jealousy is slightly different from envy. You can envy someone for something they have.
What is toxic jealousy? Toxic or unhealthy jealousy is when you try to control your partner's life and what they do and where they go because you are constantly insecure about them.
Understanding Controlling People
Insecurity — Controlling behavior is often the result of fear or insecurity on the part of the controller, despite the image of strength and confidence he or she often projects.
Jealousy is a silent killer that can threaten or destroy even the strongest relationships. The emotions it triggers, including anxiety, fear, anger, pain, and insecurity, are often indicators of underlying problems in your love life.
Research has shown that jealousy can be a sign of feeling deeply in love with a partner. It may contribute to relationship satisfaction by signaling emotional commitment and investment. It may contribute to relationship stability by prompting partners to further nurture their bond and actively protect their union.
While delusional jealousy is a mental health condition in its own right, jealous delusions are more likely to be experienced by those who have been diagnosed in the past with: Anxiety disorders.
Jealousy comes out of a lack of trust; lack of trust in the process of life, in your partner, in yourself. Lack of trust breeds insecurity, which creates jealousy; we stifle these feelings because they are uncomfortable.
Jealousy can be triggered by many factors. Perhaps the most common trigger is when someone feels a personal threat aimed at a relationship that they value. This threat comes from a third party and makes someone feel as if they are being replaced. Our brains commonly link jealousy to romantic relationships.
"Many times people who are not particularly fond of you have a hard time making eye contact," Craig said. "These individuals often seem distracted or disconnected while speaking and engaging with you. Their eyes may shift to other things happening around you which indicates a lack of respect and attention."