Although researchers have largely debunked the myth that autistic people tend not to be interested in romantic relationships, they have found that autistic people are more likely than neurotypical people to be single.
About 35% of autistic people are married, though such figures don't always take into account people that aren't diagnosed or have received a potential misdiagnosis.
Just 1 in 3 people on the autism spectrum have ever been on a date, and just 1 in 10 are married for three primary reasons: They have differentiated dating habits, leading them to prefer to date others on the spectrum.
People that are on the autism spectrum often misread body language, lack scripting and appropriate skills to initiate relationships, and cannot always communicate what is on their minds. Activities like speed dating can cause an individual's sensory system to overreact.
There are many young adults on the autism spectrum who find love and enjoy long-term, satisfying romantic relationships. Allowing for unique differences, honest communication, mutual admiration and respect, as well as ability to compromise are the key ingredients for relationship success — with or without an ASD.
Some autistic people might like more 'obvious' forms of flirting like grand gestures, crafting things for someone or writing letters.
By nature, humans crave social support and strong relationships. Autistic people are no exception, and they're capable of connecting with others at an empathic level. Their emotions can run deep, even if they have different ways of expressing themselves.
Autistic individuals may have problems communicating sexual needs which can cause issues in intimate relationships. They may seek to satisfy these needs on their own, rather than communicate them with their partner. In turn, this can result in hurt feelings.
Love and affection may be felt but expressed differently
They may show love, for example, through a practical act, and tidy up for you, or iron your shirt, rather than through a more neurotypical way of looking at you and telling you or using physical affection.
Some people with autism don't instinctively think to give kisses or hugs and tell you they love you, so their partner often has to be the one to initiate these things. As they learn, they'll get better at consciously deciding to do these things on their own.
We can date people who aren't on the autism spectrum.
We just want to find someone we connect with and can be ourselves with. We aren't mind readers so tell us when we may be going too fast or too slow.
Research reveals that the divorce rate for people with Aspergers is around 80%.
Although autistic people may struggle to interact with others, many autistic people have said they find interacting with other autistic people more comfortable.
Research has found that autistic people are equally interested in romantic relationships as neurotypical people. They just tend to have a slightly harder time knowing how to navigate dating and interpreting social cues, particularly at the start of the relationship.
Asexuality and autism
Autistic people are more likely to be LGBTQIA+ than the general population, and this includes being asexual. As with other aspects of life, individual experiences vary greatly amongst asexual Autistic people.
Individuals with ASD, 21-72 years old (M = 34.04 years, SD = 10.53), were recruited from online communities that serve adults with ASD and Amazon's Mechanical Turk to complete an online survey of sexual and gender identity. Overall, 17 (5.1%) participants who met study criteria (N = 332) self-identified as asexual.
Some kids on the spectrum feel a constant need for affection because they are not sure when or if the attention will be available. Schedule 5 to 10 minutes every day when you can provide your youngster with undivided attention (i.e., no computer, T.V., cell phones, etc.).
The inability to read the thoughts, feelings or expressed sensations of one's partner can lead to miscommunication, painful experiences whether they are physical or emotional, and/or shame and guilt. Individuals with autism have the same human needs for intimacy and relationships as anyone else.
People with autism often experience love differently from neurotypical people. Their expression of love is less straightforward, as they tend to rely heavily on non-verbal communication.
Long-term research that involved following a group of individuals with autism for two decades indicates that the average life expectancy for some autistic people is about 39 years. Furthermore, this population generally succumbed to health complications about 20 years earlier than individuals who do not have autism.
Autism and love can be challenging because your partner may not always be able to read your emotions. Keep in mind that autism involves difficulty with communication, so dating someone with autism means that your partner may not be able to tell from your body language or tone of voice that you are upset.
Touch is an important component of many social experiences for many people. Autistic children commonly avoid social touch more than non-autistic peers. It is generally thought that this is due to autistic individuals experiencing hyper- or hyposensitivity of touch.
Many of us on the spectrum also have heightened challenges with sensitivity and transition, and breakups can have a negative effect on us both physically and mentally.