"A birthday is a sort of guaranteed validation day... Throughout that day, the narcissistic person may just keep looking at their device and drinking in all the adoration, sometimes even revelling in the idea that other people have to turn their days around them."
They somehow want to be the main focus in every situation. In this case, the focus is naturally on the person who has the birthday. For this reason, the narcissist will either try to spend this day like any other day or somehow make sure that they are the most important person in the room.
Narcissists have a tendency to practice seasonal devalue and discard during the holidays, focusing these abuse tactics on their nearest targets and closest partners. Why do they do this? Because they have no empathy and cannot handle intimate relationships and are compelled to do what it takes to destroy them.
When a narcissist becomes obsessed with you, they will stare and watch you for as long as they can. I can't imagine how uncomfortable that would be; that's why you shouldn't dismiss anything or anyone so quickly. Allow them into your life only after you have thoroughly investigated who they are at their core.
Narcissists need a consistent amount of validation, admiration, and reassurance to keep their grandiose self-perception intact and their negative emotions suppressed. They “forget” birthdays because the celebration of others takes away too much attention from their fragile sense of self.
Mental health experts have observed that, sometimes, when a narcissistic person doesn't receive the external validation they believe they deserve, it can result in a high level of stress and hurt. This emotional pain may turn into narcissistic rage. This rage is at the core of a narcissistic collapse.
They tend to want to be the best and seem the happiest at the expense of another person's well-being. You might notice that they use detrimental behavior to devalue the happy people around them. This is likely because they want to stand out and do what they can to gain higher status and make others unhappy.
2) Make the narcissist feel special
If you can make them feel like they are superior, they will want to spend more time with you. This is because they want people to respect and admire them. You can also try to project your intelligence onto them by complimenting them and listening to what they have to say.
Narcissists don't just abandon you when you most need them – they also ensure that any special occasions or holidays are sabotaged as well.
Narcissists care more about celebrating themselves than celebrating anyone else. Narcissists give gifts that represent an investment in their own desires—not in the desire to please others. Grandiose and vulnerable narcissists ruin parties and social gatherings for different but related reasons—it's all about them.
The vulnerable narcissist will look for a way to sabotage the party, making the hosts or guests feel bad. They may pick a fight with someone or spill red wine on the white carpet. Each action that leaves others feeling or looking bad is just one more tasty morsel to feed the insatiable ego of the narcissist.
According to Thomaes & Brummelman, the development of narcissism begins at around the ages of 7 or 8.
Warning Signs Of An Aging Narcissist
Become more reclusive and only want to spend time with people they feel are worthy of their attention. May lose interest in the people around them altogether. May find that they are no longer able to tolerate the imperfections of others and may lash out in anger or frustration.
Narcissistic personality disorder affects more males than females, and it often begins in the teens or early adulthood. Some children may show traits of narcissism, but this is often typical for their age and doesn't mean they'll go on to develop narcissistic personality disorder.
Final Thoughts on the Red Flags of a Narcissist
Narcissistic individuals often exhibit traits such as a lack of empathy, manipulative behavior, and an inflated sense of self-importance. It's essential to understand that dealing with a narcissist can be draining and challenging.
Idealization. The first stage in a narcissistic relationship is “idealization” and is perhaps the most dangerous of them all. This is how they hook you! This phase always occurs right at the beginning of any relationship with a narcissist, and is where they will make you feel truly special.
One of the keys to spotting narcissistic personality disorder is observing the “three Es” — exploitation, entitlement, and empathy impairment. However, this is different from lacking empathy altogether. Dr.
Narcissists all follow the same patterns — here are some of the most common phrases they use to manipulate you. Narcissists often follow the same pattern in relationships: idealize, devalue, discard.
Narcissists are known for their lack of empathy, which impacts all their relationships, including those with their mothers. They are often dismissive, neglectful, or manipulative, using their mother to fulfill their own needs without considering her feelings.
First, a partner who projects his or her jealousy onto a person may be displaying signs of narcissism. The partner may not be able to cope with the negative emotion, so he or she defends against it by “seeing” it in a mate. The partner then feels entitled to accuse and criticize the person.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.