“Like Attracts Like”: People with ADHD are attracted to other people with ADHD because they inherently understand each other more than any “Muggle” could.
Relationships where one or both members of the couple have ADHD can be filled with misunderstandings, anger and frustration. Research supports notion that couples including adults with ADHD are more likely to report low relationship satisfaction and to separate or divorce, than couples unaffected by ADHD.
In some ways, two adults with ADHD are a match made in heaven. In other ways, they need to do some hard work, different from neurotypical couples, to keep their marriage, house, and family running smoothly.
The biggest shock to ADHD relationships comes with the transition from courtship to marriage. Typically, a person with ADHD hyperfocuses on their partner in the early stages of a dating. They makes them feel like the center of their world. When the hyperfocus stops, the relationship changes dramatically.
Due to differences in the ADHD brain, you can shift focus even more quickly, causing you to seem to lose interest in your partner or your relationship suddenly. During the early stages of a relationship, the partner affected by ADHD can focus intensely on the romance and the new partner.
Toxic relationships hound many people with ADHD, whose persistent symptoms and battered self-esteem make them especially susceptible to “love bombing,” “trauma bonding,” and other romantic red flags. Here, learn how to spot signs of an unhealthy relationship.
For patients diagnosed with adult ADHD there tends to be a “honeymoon period”, where they are really happy with treatment. They are excited and like 'wow I feel great' / 'this is so much better'.
It's not an exaggeration to say that ADHD worsens and prolongs the pain of a breakup, even leading to depression and low self-esteem. Getting over a breakup is way more difficult for us than it is for most neurotypical people.
Yes, adults and teens with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can remain in one monogamous relationship while dating or married. While ADHD brings an additional set of challenges into a relationship, the challenges do not need to be considered overwhelming.
A lack of organizational skills
Takeaway: If you're dating someone with ADHD, you might end up taking on some, most, or even all of the household duties. It can be stressful and frustrating to feel like you have to pick up after yourself and someone else — it's totally understandable.
Maintaining a household is hard enough. But when both partners have ADHD, there are extra challenges. These kinds of responsibilities require planning and prioritizing and performing and completing often boring tasks — all of which is difficult for adults with ADHD.
Distraction, procrastination, and other ADHD symptoms can stir anger, frustration, and hurt feelings for both the person with ADHD and the partner. But your marriage or relationship can thrive with proper treatment and tactics to ward off misunderstandings.
Equally true (though less recognized) is the fact that partners with ADHD are among the most loyal, generous, engaged, and genuinely fun people you could meet. And after a lifetime of criticism for their ADHD faults, they need for their partners to recognize these good qualities — and vice versa, for that matter.
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder can cause misunderstandings, frustrations, and resentments in your closest relationships. But there are ways to build a healthier, happier partnership.
People with ADHD tend to be forgetful, impulsive, and/or inattentive, which can complicate how well we adhere to the etiquette of texting. In other words, we're more likely to ghost our friends, but completely by accident.
If you have ADHD, you might find it hard to date, make friends, or parent. That's partly because good relationships require you to be aware of other people's thoughts and feelings.
The symptoms may peak in severity when the child is seven to eight years of age, after which they often begin to decline. By the adolescent years, the hyperactive symptoms may be less noticeable, although ADHD can continue to be present.
Barkley, PhD. “Children diagnosed with ADHD are not likely to grow out of it. And while some children may recover fully from their disorder by age 21 or 27, the full disorder or at least significant symptoms and impairment persist in 50-86 percent of cases diagnosed in childhood.
Clinicians working with people with ADHD view hypersensitivity, both physical and/or emotional, as a common comorbid condition. “[People with ADHD] often are hypersensitive in one of the sensory domains: sound, touch, or smell,” says Ned Hallowell, M.D., author of Driven to Distraction (#CommissionsEarned).
Common ADHD-Related Problems
Impulsive spending or overspending. Starting fights or arguing. Trouble maintaining friendships and romantic relationships. Speeding and dangerous driving.
Conversely, higher prevalence of same-sex sexual behavior has been observed in clinical psychiatric patients. For instance, more adults with ADHD identified themselves as bisexual compared with individuals without ADHD (Barkley, Murphy, & Fischer, 2008).