People with Asperger's also have strengths that make them wonderful partners. They tend to be honest, loyal, humorous, and champions of the underdog. Autistic people don't often get caught up in social constructs, so they can see right to the heart of what matters.
Despite the problems in relationship skills experienced by many people with Asperger's syndrome, some adults can progress along the relationship continuum and are able to experience romantic and subsequently intimate personal relationships, even becoming a lifelong partner.
Someone with Asperger's syndrome may actually perceive expressions of affection as aversive experiences, and a hug as an uncomfortable squeeze that restricts movement, and they can become confused or over-whelmed when expected to demonstrate and enjoy relatively modest expressions of affection.
Given that Asperger's makes emotional connections and social communication extremely difficult, it's no wonder that a partnership between a person with Asperger's syndrome and someone without it can be filled with stress, misunderstandings, and frustration.
In marriage, they are usually reliable, faithful, and loyal, but may seem emotionally distant to their partners. Sometimes marital therapy may be useful.
Aspies tend to express love through practical actions, whereas NTs are more likely to express love through words or symbolic actions.
I agree that living with an Asperger's person is not easy, but the marriage can be manageable and happy if the two talk about the challenges and work through them. It is only natural for a person with any difficulty to choose someone who complements them to be their partner.
I wouldn't say "falling out of love overnight" is common for these men, but it does happen. As a counselor who has worked with many couples affected by Asperger's and high-functioning autism, what I see most often has to do with the fact that most men on the high functioning end of autism are very "task-oriented."
Research reveals that the divorce rate for people with Aspergers is around 80%. Why so high!? The answer may be found in how the symptoms of Aspergers affect intimate relationships. People with Aspergers often find it difficult to understand others and express themselves.
People with Asperger profiles absolutely do have feelings, although they may have difficulty identifying and discussing them. In fact, many feelings – such as fear, anger and joy – seem to be experienced more intensely by those with Asperger profiles than by average people.
While love is expressed and experienced differently from person to person, those with autism are fully capable of forming deep emotional connections. These can include love for their family, friends, romantic partners, or even interests and hobbies.
Some people with autism don't instinctively think to give kisses or hugs and tell you they love you, so their partner often has to be the one to initiate these things.
Angry outbursts or crying fits may erupt when an Aspie's emotional reservoir overflows. Perhaps in part because Aspies cannot easily access our emotions, we cannot easily regulate them.
Most Aspies: are able to easily forgive others.
The aspie detects an approaching change in the relationship; perhaps you're talking about moving in, having children or maybe you're simply becoming assertive about routines; tea times, household chores or furniture placement. Whatever the reason, the aspie change resistance kicks in.
It can be difficult for us working out what other people know or guessing what other people are thinking or their personal space. So a person with Aspergers may unintentionally stand too close or choose an inappropriate conversation topic or need to withdraw and take a break.
In some cases, the partners react in ways that only inflame insecurities or escalate conflicts. For example, after an argument, the neurotypical partner might feel stressed out and unheard, while the autistic partner grows distant and resentful. As problems reoccur, the relationship becomes more and more strained.
The cause of Asperger syndrome, like most ASDs, is not fully understood, but there is a strong genetic basis, which means it does tend to run in families. Multiple environmental factors are also thought to play an important role in the development of all ASDs.
The incidence of AS is not well established, but experts in population studies conservatively estimate that two to six out of every 1,000 children have the disorder. Boys are three to four times more likely than girls to have AS. Asperger Syndrome affects about 1 in 200 people, more commonly in men than women.
Symptoms of High-Functioning Autism
They don't make much eye contact or small talk. People on the spectrum who are high-functioning can also be very devoted to routine and order. They might have repetitive and restrictive habits that seem odd to others. There's a wide range of how they do with school and work.