More recent field research on a large Canadian sample also found that those in open or polyamorous relationships were just as happy as those in monogamous relationships. The Rubel and Bogaert review reports that most non-monogamous people are just as or more sexually satisfied than monogamists.
Many people in polyamorous relationships are satisfied and happy. In fact, a 2018 study looked at people in monogamous relationships and people in non-monogamous relationships. The study found no difference in relationship satisfaction between the two groups.
Are poly relationships healthy? Polyamorous relationships can be happy, healthy relationships, just like any other monogamous or non-monogamous relationship. However, because polyamorous relationships involve multiple people, they can sometimes require more honesty, communication, and care.
A survey of 340 polyamorous adults shows their polyam relationships lasting an average of eight years. The most typical polyam relationship involves a primary committed couple, with each member free to explore other relationships.
In the vast majority of polyamorous relationships, jealousy does come up at some point. However, jealousy can be broken down to determine what your real concerns are. When you recognize what is bothering you, it is possible to manage this challenging feeling.
The Cons. Non-monogamy can have its downsides. Bringing a third (or more) party into your relationship can create a distraction from the emotional connection between the two of you. In my clinical experience, it dilutes the intimacy in a relationship when partners spread themselves thinner.
Lack of agreement over time can lead to feelings of neglect and the ending of a relationship. Spending quality, meaningful, intentional and dedicated time nurturing a relationship is essential if it is to be successful. Broken promises around time seem to be the number one difficulty in poly relationships.
Polyamorous couples have different ideas about how to manage rules and boundaries within their relationships. Sometimes, these rules can act as a big red flag. Requiring a secondary/new partner to be romantically or sexually involved with both people or break up entirely is a big show-stopper for me.
Research, however, finds that people in polyamorous relationships are in fact, often quite happy with their arrangements: They report the same levels of relationship satisfaction as married partners, as well as high sexual satisfaction.
More recent field research on a large Canadian sample also found that those in open or polyamorous relationships were just as happy as those in monogamous relationships. The Rubel and Bogaert review reports that most non-monogamous people are just as or more sexually satisfied than monogamists.
Other researchers like Fleckenstein and Cox found that most polyamorous people maintain two or at the most three partnerships simultaneously.
Most things about breakups are identical in monogamy and polyamory. They're largely between the people directly involved in the breakup - the worst things that can happen are long-running resentment or making an ass of yourself in wallowing in the end of the relationship with unhealthy coping mechanisms.
More companionship, higher income, and ongoing sexual variety are often cited as advantages of polygamous or polyamorous relationships.
Whether you have a primary partner, or multiple partners, make sure that you are able to lean on your partners for emotional and intimate support. Successful polyamorous relationships require open communcation and honesty about your wants and needs. This includes listening to your partner's wants and needs.
Finally, polyamory has also been described as a distinctive identity (M Barker, 2005). I will discuss poly identity narratives in more detail, because representations of polyamory as identity most strongly resemble sexual orientation discourses.
No, it is an alternate way of life. Polyamory is neither a mental illness nor a personality disorder. A study was conducted with around 1093 polyamorous individuals measuring the various criteria like need fulfillment, relationship satisfaction, and commitment for two ongoing romantic relationships.
If you've had crushes on multiple people since you were young and have trouble choosing between them (think Devi in "Never Have I Ever"), you might be polyamorous. Many polyamorous people feel they have an infinite amount of love to give others, so it's normal to feel like you can love mutiple people at once.
No, polyamory isn't inherently selfish. Polyamorous relationships built without rules aren't inherently selfish, either. But that's not to say that being selfish would automatically make them bad.
However, polyamory tends to be built around the ideas of honesty, communication and centring the feelings of everyone involved, so in most cases ethical non-monogamy doesn't equate to cheating.
But research has yet to establish any convincing link between polyamory and childhood trauma. Unless you're finding that consensual non-monogamy is exacerbating symptoms of a pre-existing psychological condition you have (for example, depression, anxiety, PTSD, a personality disorder, etc.)
The biggest difference between polyamory and polygamy is the gender of the partners. In polyamory, anyone of any gender can have multiple partners—the gender of the person or their partner does not matter. Polygamy is almost universally heterosexual, and only one person has multiple spouses of a different gender.
Some people cheat because they've fallen out of love with their existing partner and in love with a new one. Some people cheat because they have unmet needs in their relationship. Some people cheat because they fail to resist temptation and excitement when an opportunity arises.
There are also cases where the poly partner decides it is right for them to engage in a monogamous relationship with this partner for a variety of valid reasons. There are all kinds of ways to negotiate Mono/Poly relationships.