You may have heard the term as it applies to children, but adults can also groom other adults. In fact, some adults may use other adults, and particularly women, to help them in their grooming. As with other forms of manipulation, grooming is not a simple cut-and-dry technique.
The other type of female who commits sexual abuse that may employ grooming is what we term the sex trafficker. These women are motivated by economic gain or underlying antisocial traits and target young female victims and force them into sex work.
What is Adult Grooming? It's a gradual process. The abuser picks their target, build up trust, and the actual abuse, which is usually sexual or financial, doesn't come until much later. It often starts with friendship. The groomer will look for ways to gain their target's trust, often with gifts or promises.
Malignant narcissists begin their relationships with excessive amounts of contact, praise, flattery, and attention – this is known as love bombing. They use love bombing to groom their victims in order to get them invested in a fabricated future together – one that they never plan to deliver on.
Grooming, which could include “sexting”, is behaviour that might be viewed as just flirting between colleagues, but may actually mask predatory sexual activity that constitutes a serious risk to employers and young employees.
This can look like controlling what a partner wears, who they see, where they go, and what they do with their free time. It can also look like a groomer using social media to cyberstalk their partner.
Following a grooming experience, the child may suffer numerous negative effects such as embarrassment, irritability, anxiety, stress, depression, and substance abuse. Even in the absence of physical sexual abuse, the child may be traumatized and suffer long-lasting emotional damage caused by non-contact sexual abuse.
Grooming can be sexual, romantic, financial or for criminal or terrorism purposes, and can target both children and adults. The common aspect is that a perpetrator manipulates a victim by building trust and rapport.
The predator identifies a victim who seems vulnerable, often looking for a child with low self-esteem, an obedient/compliant personality, or mental disability. If possible, he or she also assesses the child's home life for signs that the parents are uninvolved or pre-occupied.
What is grooming? Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them. Children and young people who are groomed can be sexually abused, exploited or trafficked.
Overt attention, verbal seduction (flattery / ego stroking), recruitment, physical isolation, charm, gift-giving, normalizing, gaslighting, secrecy, and threats are all hallmarks of grooming.
Abusers Often Come on Strong
Intense romance can be a form of grooming, a predatory tactic that is meant to build a deep emotional connection. Abusers know exactly what they are doing.
I found two types of social grooming (elaborate social grooming (orange) and lightweight social grooming (green)) and social relationship forms depending on them.
This process of online grooming demands sexting activities and often starts with sending and receiving text messages and photographs with sexual-erotic content before taking turn into an abusive relationship (Schoeps, Peris Hernández, Garaigordobil, & Montoya-Castilla, 2020).
Adult grooming
While grooming is most associated with child sexual abuse, it is also possible for adults, especially vulnerable adults to be groomed – or prepared – for abuse.
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One tool common to those who sexually abuse kids is grooming: manipulative behaviors that the abuser uses to gain access to a potential victim, coerce them to agree to the abuse, and reduce the risk of being caught.
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