Some people use the grey rock method with those they suspect of having narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). People with NPD may use others as a source of attention, manipulating them to get a specific reaction that bolsters their ego.
People with narcissistic personality disorder crave attention and making themselves appear like a grey rock is a way to deprive them of the reactions that they're seeking. The tactic includes limiting emotional responses, avoiding eye contact, and removing yourself from situations whenever it's possible to do so.
The phrase 'grey rock' is a metaphor for a way to deflect or defuse further abuse from a partner, a family member, or even a coworker. Simply put, it's when a person who is enduring abuse purposely acts as boring as possible during encounters with their abuser.
Let's say the person you're grey rocking is trying to coax a reaction from you. In this case, you can use techniques like breathwork to stay grounded and not respond in an emotional way. Limiting eye contact is another way to disengage. That's because eye contact plays an important role in communication.
Narcissist Stonewalling
Stonewalling is the refusal to communicate with someone. This means that your spouse refuses to listen to you and your concerns. Stonewalling is one of the most prevalent narcissistic abuse techniques.
Here are some narcissism red flags to look out for: Lacking empathy. They seem unable or unwilling to have empathy for others, and they appear to have no desire for emotional intimacy. Unrealistic sense of entitlement.
Examples of narcissistic rage range from intense outbursts and sudden fits of anger, to passive-aggressive acts such as simmering resentment, icy silence, deliberate neglect, or cutting sarcasm.
Narcissistic personalities tend to be formed by emotional injury as a result of overwhelming shame, loss or deprivation during childhood. The irony is that despite showing an outwardly strong personality, deep down these individuals suffer from profound alienation, emptiness and lack of meaning.
Someone engaging in narcissistic abuse often has little respect for boundaries. When you try to set or enforce limits, they might challenge them, completely ignore them, or give you the silent treatment until you do what they want. Eventually, you might give up on your boundaries entirely.
Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
Trauma bonding occurs when a narcissist repeats a cycle of abuse with another person which fuels a need for validation and love from the person being abused. Trauma bonding often happens in romantic relationships, however, it can also occur between colleagues, non-romantic family members, and friends.
They mimic your behaviour and ignore you right back – at first, a narcissist won't try to reach out and find out why you're ignoring them because they don't care about your feelings. They will want to 'one-up' you by doing more of the same or at a higher intensity. This is them trying to reassert their power.
One of the first stages of leaving a narcissist will include you getting away from them. You may choose to end the relationship, move out, or cease contact with them. Once this occurs, they will likely begin trying to guilt you into feeling bad about yourself and how you treated them.
Trauma dumping refers to sharing a traumatic story without thinking about how it will affect the listener, or oversharing in an inappropriate context.
Overall, the analysis shows that feelings of superiority and entitlement can lead narcissistic people to attack others in an aggressive manner, sometimes even violently. People high in narcissism believe they are special and deserve special treatment.
This rage may take the form of screaming and yelling. Selective silence and passive-aggressive avoidance can also happen with narcissistic rage. Most episodes of narcissistic rage exist on a behavior continuum. On one end, a person may be aloof and withdrawn.