Yet, situational factors may also influence whether cheating occurs. For example, the stress one experiences from a long day at school or at work could increase the chances of being unfaithful, because dealing with stress requires effort that can lead to fatigue; a process that researchers refer to as ego-depletion.
In many cases, people think their spouse is cheating on them because either they've cheated on someone in the past or are about to. Psychologists say that projection is a low-level coping skill, where people who cheat or think of cheating are likely to project the same thoughts on their partners.
They have low self-esteem.
This trait is a known risk factor for cheating, and often for these people, cheating can be a coping mechanism and an attempted means to feel validated, desired and needed.
Being insecure
Another reason why someone might cheat is because they are insecure. "Usually, in this scenario, the partner that wants to cheat is seeking out confirmation of their desirability," Winter told INSIDER. "And they use the reinforcement of a new person to bolster their own self-confidence."
Research in the field of infidelity reveals that there are three distinct personality types correlated with a higher likelihood of cheating: sociopaths, narcissists, and lonely hearts.
The most important thing to remember is what cheating says about a person. They're insecure, impulsive, selfish, and immature. Sometimes, it's a chronic problem that likely won't ever be fixed, just be sure not to ignore the warning signs.
"Researchers find that partnerships characterized by dissatisfaction, unfulfilling sex, and high conflict are at higher risk for infidelity," she says. "Also, the more dissimilar partners are—in terms of personality, education level, and other factors—the more likely they are to experience infidelity."
What Is Emotional Cheating? Emotional cheating is a type of infidelity where one partner shares emotional intimacy and connection with someone other than their partner. This connection crosses the boundaries of a healthy, platonic relationship and assumes a breach of trust within the primary relationship.
While the effects of infidelity can manifest in different ways within different relationships, there are some common signs that frequently accompany cheating. Becoming emotionally distant, angry, defensive, or secretive can be hints that they're being unfaithful, as can intense suspicion directed toward you.
One of the most effective ways to treat a persistent fear of cheating is by doing exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy. NOCD has over 300 therapists who specialize in treating OCD, and we'll work to match you with someone skilled and experienced in treating Relationship OCD.
What Mental Illnesses Cause Cheating? Someone who struggles with insecure attachments from childhood trauma, for example, may have issues with infidelity, because they fear commitment. Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or ADHD may also struggle to remain faithful due to impulsivity.
That said, cheating may represent compulsive behavior and fall under the category of behavioral addictions, which may explain patterns of serial and chronic infidelity. There are limited studies examining the data between compulsive cheating and mental health disorders.
And yet, the real answer to this significant question is this: It is absolutely possible that your partner does love you, did love you before, and will continue to love you in the future. Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them.
Results of a 2005 study show that there is a significant difference between cheaters and non-cheaters when it comes to the Big Five model of personality traits. Poor self control, selfishness, anger, boredom, and attention-seeking are the most common reasons a person is unfaithful in their relationship.
Being cheated on
Cheaters actually have a deep-seated fear of betrayal themselves. They often feel suspicious and rejected in relationships and use this as an excuse to step out on their partners. Cheating gives philandering folks a feeling of power and control in their lives and relationships.
Know That You Aren't a Bad Person
"Cheating is a very serious thing. It's a very big deal, and you should take the time to really sift through all of those feelings and reactions you're having," said Gloria. "At the same time, you also need to recognize that this doesn't make you a categorically terrible person.
Here's what we do know about the prevalence of cheating. A 2021 survey by Health Testing Centers polled 441 people and reported: a little over 46% of respondents in a monogamous relationship said they had affairs. nearly 24% of marriages affected by infidelity reported staying together.
Sexual contact with your crush would be considered cheating. But it's also possible to have emotional affairs. If you find that you start to replace your partner with your crush for emotional connections, then it might be considered infidelity.
Inherent Selfishness/Entitlement. Some cheaters, despite loving their partner and enjoying their relationship, feel they deserve more. Rather than seeing their vow of fidelity as a sacrifice made to and for their relationship, they view it as something to be worked around.
In happy relationships, someone might cheat—not because they are dissatisfied with their partner—but, because they are dissatisfied with themselves. It's easy for people to get caught between the questions “What do I want?” and “What does everyone else want from me?”
Cheating husbands may be defensive over the smallest things. They may seem unusually sensitive or touchy about things that seem harmless to you. If you ask an innocent question about what they had for lunch, they may snap at you and accuse you of being controlling or demanding.