Love and affection may be felt but expressed differently The empathy circuitry of the brain is also working differently. Your autistic person feels love, and feels empathy too, but may struggle to express both in ways that lead to you feeling loved or empathised with.
Some believe that autistic people aren't interested in romantic relationships or aren't capable of romantic love. However, this is far from the truth. In fact, autistic people can make wonderful partners.
In reality, people with autism can experience romantic love and often attach considerable value to their close relationships. Difficulties in these relationships tend to involve an attachment to routines, social interaction challenges, and communication issues.
While autism can influence how you communicate and interact with others, it doesn't prevent you from developing sexually, or from finding mutually fulfilling relationships that involve intimacy and sex.
Love and affection may be felt but expressed differently
They may show love, for example, through a practical act, and tidy up for you, or iron your shirt, rather than through a more neurotypical way of looking at you and telling you or using physical affection.
Some may find it challenging to express love verbally or through typical social cues, but they can still demonstrate affection and care through their actions, interests, and consistent support. That said, autism is a spectrum, and each individual's experience and expression of love may vary.
Some kids on the spectrum feel a constant need for affection because they are not sure when or if the attention will be available. Schedule 5 to 10 minutes every day when you can provide your youngster with undivided attention (i.e., no computer, T.V., cell phones, etc.).
They may avoid interactions or eye contact or even resist parental attention, hugs, or cuddling. There has been more research into the reasoning behind this, but many times it results in people with autism being defensive against touch.
Some people with autism don't instinctively think to give kisses or hugs and tell you they love you, so their partner often has to be the one to initiate these things. As they learn, they'll get better at consciously deciding to do these things on their own.
People with autism often experience love differently from neurotypical people. Their expression of love is less straightforward, as they tend to rely heavily on non-verbal communication.
It is helpful to your partner if your communication is clear, calm and predictable. The person with ASD will usually want to meet their partner's needs once s/he understands how to meet those needs. Explicitly communicating your social, emotional, mental, physical, including sexual needs, is important.
By nature, humans crave social support and strong relationships. Autistic people are no exception, and they're capable of connecting with others at an empathic level. Their emotions can run deep, even if they have different ways of expressing themselves.
For some, it will be talking about their special interests to someone who will actually listen, or just listening quietly to music through headphones. And remember, what makes one person happy may be unique to them. Sometimes a quiet contented mind can be the happiest feeling of all.
An autistic person will feel emotions and will want to communicate emotions to those around them. However, it is not uncommon to encounter difficulties in expressing oneself. Indeed, people with autism spectrum disorder will encounter certain obstacles in recognizing various facial expressions.
Autistic people might also become attached to objects (or parts of objects), such as toys, figurines or model cars – or more unusual objects like milk bottle tops, stones or shoes. An interest in collecting is also quite common.
Strong reactions to touch are remarkably widespread among people who have autism, despite the condition's famed heterogeneity. "The touch thing is as close to universal as they come," says Gavin Bollard, an autistic blogger who lives in Australia and writes about his and his autistic sons' experiences.
While many people with autism may appear to lack empathy and sympathy, it is not the case for all people with autism. For those who struggle with displaying appropriate empathetic responses, the reasons may relate more to social communication issues than a lack of underlying emotional response.
Social-Emotional Reciprocity
On the other hand, some people with autism might overshare and might not know when to let the other person have a turn to talk. People with autism might also struggle to share what they are thinking or feeling with other people.
Many people with autism crave intimacy and love. But, they don't know how to achieve it in a romantic relationship. They can feel blind to everyday subtle social cues from their partner. This can cause conflict and hurt feelings.
Although some people on the autism spectrum enjoy fulfilling relationships, there are others for whom emotional attachment can be difficult and this may affect intimate relationships, family relationships and friendships.
Often people with autism are like three-year olds: They are brutally honest to a fault. While this trait can cause embarrassment, it also means this person hasn't learned to lie, hide true feelings, sweep things under the rug, or manipulate.