There is nothing unique about men that makes them incapable of becoming emotionally invested in their FWB partner. Men may not automatically fall in love, but there's certainly a good chance that they'll at least become attached.
Stick to a style of sex that's exciting and that you don't attach a lot of meaning to. Avoid being really sensual with your FWB or you'll start to bring emotions into the dynamic. When you're intimate with your FWB, it should feel purely physical. You might want to both avoid looking deeply into each other's eyes.
In friends with benefits scenarios, you're just friends — friends who hang out and sometimes have sex/be intimate with each other. People who are friends with benefits may be free to date other people. The physical stuff they do is usually “no strings attached”— they're not necessarily committed to each other.
Men can be incredibly insecure after sex, and what he thinks after you sleep with him often flows in that direction. To wit, “I wonder if I was good enough?” is at the top of the list of what guys think after a hookup.
Friends-with-benefits situations usually involve an element of trust and emotional connection. Even if you aren't emotionally invested enough to want a relationship, you're not robots, and there will still be a connection that goes beyond something that is 100% sexual.
Can a man sleep with a woman without developing feelings? Yes, he can. While both the genders can engage in casual sex if they want, it is observed that it is easier for men to let a casual relationship stay casual for longer.
Don't Cuddle
Cuddling encourages intimacy, which is a no-no with your FWB. You want to keep things simple, and spooning can complicate them.
Men and women react and value sex differently but both genders are perfectly capable of becoming emotionally attached to someone they sleep with. Its not uncommon for a man to have casual sex- for that matter, some women can easily do it as well.
Men are just as vulnerable to falling in love after the first sex as women – they may be even more so, because women are pickier.”
This is because men tend to pull away after sex. During sex, oxytocin increases, which has the effect of lowering testosterone. When a man's testosterone levels decrease, he feels a great need to pull away and may even lose interest for a while. As his testosterone levels rebuild, his interest returns.
Red Flags to Watch Out For in an FWB Situation
When picking the perfect friend with benefits, avoid people who seem to have an anxious attachment style. "If you feel like they like you a lot more than you like them, that's a big red flag," Lovz said.
Some friends with benefits also go on casual dates, watch shows together, sleep over each other's places, cuddle, and other things associated with romantic relationships. Other FWBs may prefer to only meet up at night for sex.
All things considered, most guys are comfortable keeping an FWB arrangement casual. Most FWB relationships actually end because someone becomes interested in pursuing a non-FWB relationship with a new partner. It seems that an FWB fling is more likely to end than turn into something more serious.
Exactly how often to talk to a friend with benefits depends on the needs of the parties involved. Some may talk every day, but others might only talk when hooking up. As a general rule, maintain emotional distance from your friend with benefits.
Carve out some time to talk calmly and privately, know what you're going to say (but don't prepare a script—let the conversation flow) and let him react before getting too far ahead of yourself. Just getting your feelings off your chest and out in the open is the important part."
Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.
If your casual partner seems worthy of marathon phone sessions, monogamous arrangements, or even falling in love, you might wonder how to make it official. It's absolutely possible—and not uncommon—for the relationship to become something more.
So do guys get attached after cuddling? They might. But even if they do, they're unlikely to show it if you play too hard to get. This is why guys distance themselves after intimacy.
Be an active listener.
To trigger emotional attraction in a man, give him your undivided attention during conversation. Put your phone away, and maintain eye contact when he speaks; it shows him that you genuinely care and increases intimacy in the relationship.
“Emotional intimacy could be defined as allowing yourself to connect more deeply with your partner through actions that express feelings, vulnerabilities and trust,” says Sanam Hafeez, a neuropsychologist in New York City and faculty member in Columbia University's clinical psychology Ph. D.
If you are in a friends with benefits situation, do not act like a couple! This might be the golden rule of successful FWB relationships. Don't hold hands.
For instance, if a man sees someone who acts as a support system, he could get emotionally attached because the person is there for them through thick and thin. Another factor that makes a man emotionally attached is when you become vulnerable with them.
This thought is usually something along the lines of “nice, I just got laid!” As Lachlan Brown says, men aren't always contemplating some grand idea or thought after sex: many times they're just happy they had sex. They're basking in the afterglow of having sex with you and feeling pretty proud of themselves.
The average time for men to fall in love is 88 days, while those same feelings of true love take women 134 days.