"Unintentional manipulation can show up in exaggerating the facts," Silvershein says. "If someone had an early-morning flight that takes off at 8 a.m., they may say their flight is at 6 a.m. since they technically have to leave for the airport at 6 a.m. They know that this story is better and will gain more empathy."
Not all manipulation has malicious intent, even when it causes immense harm. Some common reasons people engage in manipulation include: Poor communication skills. Some people may be uncomfortable with direct communication.
It can usually be difficult for a person to know if they're being manipulated. Even some manipulators are sometimes not aware of their actions, so it can be really confusing to figure out when someone is a victim of manipulation. Manipulators often use fraudulent ways of gaining power over someone's emotions.
The silent treatment, or stonewalling, is a passive-aggressive form of manipulation and can be considered emotional abuse. It is a way to control another person by withholding communication, refusing to talk, or ignoring the person.
People manipulate others to get what they want. This type of behavior may have a number of causes including interpersonal dynamics, personality characteristics, a dysfunctional upbringing, attachment issues, or certain mental health conditions.
Psychologists say the root cause of manipulative behavior can often be toxic cycles of violence, narcissism, or unhealthy relationships in the manipulator's own childhood. Manipulation can happen in any relational context, Balestrieri says, including family, friends, professional, romantic, or sexual relationships.
Manipulation is when a person uses controlling and harmful behaviors to avoid responsibility, conceal their true intentions, or cause doubt and confusion. Manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting, lying, blaming, criticizing, and shaming, can be incredibly damaging to a person's psychological well-being.
"Subtle manipulation involves seemingly 'well-meaning' or 'harmless' gestures that actually create a lot of problems. In other words, the person doing them intends no harm, but does damage without realizing it," says Winters.
In some cases, ignoring a manipulator may cause them to lose interest in their target. Since manipulators typically seek control and validation, a lack of response might make them feel insignificant and prompt them to move on to someone more susceptible to their tactics.
A manipulative person uses passive, sneaky strategies to get what they want, such as saying "Aren't you lucky to have all that chocolate!" when what they really want is for you to offer them one.
While we are all susceptible to manipulation, if you are insecure, overly nice, or worry a lot about what other people think, you may be an easy target. The reason manipulation feels bad is because it feels like you're being pushed or tricked into something you didn't really choose or want to do.
Manipulative movements such as throwing, catching, kicking, trapping, striking, volleying, bouncing, and ball rolling are considered to be fundamental manipulative skills.
The 4 stages of manipulation
While manipulative tendencies are often subtle and sometimes undetectable, there are four stages of manipulation. Flattery. The first stage is when the person who manipulates puts on a facade of being kind, caring, and helpful.
Borderline Personality Disorder.
Characterized by a fragile, fluctuating self-image and a profound fear of abandonment, borderlines can be master manipulators. Their controlling behaviors may range from subtle and ingratiating to threatening and violent.
Isolation is an effective method for gaining power and control. Without social contact and support, the victim is more easily manipulated. As contact with other people diminishes, the victim becomes more dependent on the abuser, and may come to see the abuser as her sole source of emotional nurture and practical help.
In passive aggression, the manipulator doesn't voice negative feelings toward or problems with a person. Instead, they find indirect ways to express their anger and undermine the other person.