With an understanding that ADHD isn't a personal choice, the use of open communication strategies, and the support of a mental health professional, both partners can feel supported and appreciated in the marriage. Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. (2021).
Understanding ADHD is key to understanding each other. It's important that both partners learn about ADHD, not just the partner who has it. Knowledge is power in these “mixed” marriages. Some people call ADHD the “third partner” in their marriage, and say it deserves respect for the role it plays.
ADHD can be a contributing factor in a wide range of marital problems. If your partner has ADD, you may feel ignored and lonely. Your partner can focus on things that interest them, but not on you. They never seem to follow through on what they agree to do.
Living with ADHD is about monitoring your symptoms and actively working toward finding what works best for you. With the right support and treatment, you can create a life that allows you to reach your greatest potential.
These may include hyperfocus, resilience, creativity, conversational skills, spontaneity, and abundant energy. Many people view these benefits as “superpowers” because those with ADHD can hone them to their advantage. People with ADHD have a unique perspective that others may find interesting and valuable.
Divorce and ADHD. Estimates vary, but some studies suggest that the divorce rate among couples touched by ADHD is as much as twice that of the general population.
It's true: Attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) has strained more than a few romantic relationships. Equally true (though less recognized) is the fact that partners with ADHD are among the most loyal, generous, engaged, and genuinely fun people you could meet.
Effects of ADHD on Marriage
According to Orlov, a person with ADHD might feel: Secretly or overtly overwhelmed, since keeping daily life under control when you have ADHD takes much more work than others realize. Subordinate to a spouse who is "running things," particularly if parent/child dynamics are in place.
More often than not, adults with ADHD struggle in long term relationships and, sadly, over time the chances of divorce increase far more rapidly for those with ADHD in their relationship than for those who don't have it.
Due to differences in the ADHD brain, you can shift focus even more quickly, causing you to seem to lose interest in your partner or your relationship suddenly. During the early stages of a relationship, the partner affected by ADHD can focus intensely on the romance and the new partner.
For those of us with ADHD, traits like rejection sensitive dysphoria, big feelings, and obsessive thinking prolong and worsen the pain of a breakup. After a heavy dose of heartache, I'm here to share my tips for moving on. Breakups cut deep in the ADHD heart.
Kids with ADHD often feel emotions more deeply than other kids do. When teens with ADHD fall in love, the feelings of joy and excitement can be even more intense for them. Teens might feel a deep sense of intimacy and acceptance, perhaps for the first time.
“Opposites Attract”: People with ADHD are attracted to “organized” and joyless workers bees who can keep the trains running for the both of them and who in turn are drawn to their free-spirited ADHD partner's spontaneity and sense of fun.
As we've discussed, unfortunately, many people with ADHD tend to have a lack of empathy. This can be addressed, though, through identifying and communicating about each other's feelings.
Advice for Partners of Men with ADHD
Use soft starts in conversations, request rather than demand, and accept that ADHD partners have a right to their opinions, whether or not you like them. Don't set up a dynamic in which your partner feels he can never do well enough for you.
Your ADHD partner doesn't seem to listen when you talk or fails to follow through on promises. You feel unheard, ignored, and unwanted. In reality, they may love you very much but are too distracted by the TV, the phone, or their own thoughts to show it.
As many as 60% of individuals with ADHD symptoms in childhood continue to have difficulties in adult life. Adults with ADHD are more likely to be dismissed from employment and have often tried a number of jobs before being able to find one at which they can succeed.
Though all workplaces are different, most expect you to be organized, on time, attentive, focused, and do the work you're asked to do. ADHD can make all of these harder. As a result, you may not be able to live up to your employer's expectations. So it may be a struggle to keep a job.
Indeed more often you need to break tasks down and take frequent breaks.… Stop using the executive function system for a few minutes and give it a chance to refuel its fuel tank. This is why we talk about the 10 and 3 rule with ADHD children. 10 minutes of work, 3 minutes of break – 10 and 3 – 10 and 3.
Does ADHD affect IQ? A popular misconception is that all children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are naturally smarter and have a higher IQ than children without ADHD. However, there is no correlation between this condition and intelligence.
The five gifts of ADHD include creativity, emotional sensitivity, exuberance, interpersonal empathy, and being nature-smart (The Gift of Adult ADD, 2008).
Many people with ADHD experience daytime sleepiness and difficulty waking up as a result of poor sleep. Others experience restless, non-refreshing sleep with multiple nighttime awakenings.