It's common with borderline personality disorder for a person to idealize a friend, family member, or loved one. They feel intense closeness towards that person and place them on a pedestal. This can quickly and unpredictably change to intense anger toward that person, a process called devaluation.
In response to devaluation, the person with BPD may have an outburst of anger, aggression or to break up. Hence, BPD romantic relationships are often described as intense and unstable.
The devaluation stage, also known as the depreciation stage, comes next. It often starts slowly. The narcissist will start dropping subtle hints that you've done something wrong, that you've forgotten something important, or that you've hurt their feelings. You'll start to feel insecure.
Devaluing is anything that diminishes or destroys the personhood of the other. [It's] treating the other person as if they are not deserving of honor and empathy and love and compassion and respect as a child of God.
Idealization can quickly turn into devaluation because there is often no middle ground for a person with BPD. Feeling challenged, threatened, or disappointed can quickly cause them to devalue the people they formerly idealized.
Silent treatment vs silent discard
People with narcissistic tendencies tend to see others as objects to meet their needs and will discard them when it is no longer met or the person adds no value. Their pattern of relationship is to idealise, devalue and then discard. The silent treatment is a temporary discard.
Examples of devaluing someone:
You shouldn't see them as much as you do. “, “You're not allowed to wear that.”) Make you feel bad about how you feel and think until you lose confidence (“What's wrong with you?” “No wonder no one else likes you”)
If you are in a relationship and recognize the signs of being devalued, reaching out for help is the first and most important step. Start by meeting with a therapist with experience in assisting people in relationships with narcissists to break the cycle of narcissistic abuse.
Yes absolutely. But not in all cases. If you're in a position of being devalued, initially you must have been in a position of being valued. Devaluation happens when the fear of abandonment and/or rejection is triggered.
The idealization phase can last from a few weeks to a few years. It is important to remember that this phase is just one aspect of the borderline personality disorder diagnosis and that not all people with it will go through it.
BPD splitting destroys relationships because the behaviour can be impulsive or reckless in order to alleviate the pain, often hurting loved ones in the process. It can feel like everyone abandons or hurts them, often causing them to look for evidence, and creating problems from nothing.
Splitting is a psychological mechanism which allows the person to tolerate difficult and overwhelming emotions by seeing someone as either good or bad, idealised or devalued. This makes it easier to manage the emotions that they are feeling, which on the surface seem to be contradictory.
Dissociation in BPD is closely linked to emotion dysregulation, disturbed identity, and relationship problems. Emotion dysregulation includes a tendency to experience intense overwhelming emotions.
Devaluation reduces the cost of a country's exports, rendering them more competitive in the global market, which, in turn, increases the cost of imports. If imports are more expensive, domestic consumers are less likely to purchase them, further strengthening domestic businesses.
transitive to treat someone or something as if they are not important. People who are unemployed tend to feel devalued. Synonyms and related words. To treat someone unfairly.
: an official reduction in the exchange value of a currency by a lowering of its gold equivalency or its value relative to another currency. : a lessening especially of status or stature : decline.
Do Borderlines Come Back After Discard? Sometimes BPD exes come back because they miss you. Other times, they return because they've worked hard to improve themselves. Either way, if you've discarded your ex and blocked him/her, don't worry!
Most codependents grow up feeling ashamed of their real feelings, wants, and/or needs. As adults, they deny, devalue, and/or don't express them to avoid their shame. Some people can't identify them at all, and willingly put those of others first. This leads to anxiety, depression, obsessions and addictive behavior.
Daramus lists some reasons why a person with narcissistic tendencies might discard you: You were too difficult for them to control. You were easily manipulated by them, causing them to look down upon you. You no longer fuel their ego, so they've moved on to someone else who can supply what they need.
Currency devaluation can present significant drawbacks, ranging from more expensive imports to higher inflation, as well as a decline in local consumer purchasing power. It can also result in less efficient and less competitive domestic industries in the medium term.
The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse typically employed by people with narcissistic tendencies.