When the boundaries are unclear and children are hearing hundreds of commands a day, they can't tell when it's important to listen. They might even start to tune you out. They learn to wait until you raise your voice and yell, which becomes their cue that you mean business.
Why? Because deep down, you think that your child's behavior is a reflection on you. This is common. Parents are often triggered by their children because they believe their children's bad behavior makes them look like bad parents.
It's possible the child has a hearing problem, and that's the first thing to check out. But there are other reasons kids have a hard time listening. Two common cases are trouble with language or trouble with following directions. Focus challenges can also play a role.
Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.
Children react to angry, stressed parents by not being able to concentrate, finding it hard to play with other children, becoming quiet and fearful or rude and aggressive, or developing sleeping problems.
Parenting Triggers are the ones that are caused by our child's behaviour. Sometimes, when they say, do, or feel something and we have an automatic negative response in return, we yell, lash out, shut down, cry, try to escape, or sometimes you feel compelled to punish or shame your children when feel triggered.
To discipline a child is to teach. It is unnecessary to punish a child to achieve that, nor is it an effective way. Punishment does not teach your child how to control their anger, and it creates a rupture in your parent-child relationship. It can only make things worse.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): Being subjected to constant yelling and verbal abuse can cause symptoms of PTSD. Symptoms can include insomnia, feeling the need to be on guard, getting easily startled and displaying self-destructive behavior.
Yelling at a child can result in both short-term and long-term psychological effects. In the short term, a child who is on the receiving end of yelling may become aggressive, anxious, and withdrawn. In the long term, they may develop anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, and a negative view of themselves.
Admit that you lost your temper or got frustrated. Take full ownership of your actions. Tell your child what it was you did to calm down and how your regained your self-control. If your child responds with questions about how you felt, go ahead and talk with them.
Maternal burnout is a chronic state characterized by physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion and occurs when ongoing stress diminishes a person's energetic resources. Parental burnout has been categorized by four dimensions: A persistent, disruptive, and overwhelming exhaustion as a parent.
Emotionally unavailable parents are physically present but emotionally detached. They keep an emotional distance from their children, interacting with them only when necessary, and they remain uninvolved in their lives.
Described as “an exhaustion syndrome,” parental burnout has three distinct aspects: An overwhelming exhaustion related to parenting and your role as a parent. Feeling emotionally distanced from your children. A sense of ineffectiveness as a parent; feeling unsure of your ability to parent well.
Becoming a pseudo-parent means creating a relationship with a new child (or children), your partner, and yes, your partner's ex-partner. These adult relationships will require diplomatic talks, early and often.
However, experts believe it can send the wrong message to kids about their behaviour, long-term. According to Laura Markham, a psychologist from Aha! Parenting, even though children may emerge from their rooms calmer, they have missed out on an opportunity for development.