When spoiled youngsters become teenagers, they're more prone to excessive self-absorption, lack of self-control, anxiety, and depression, says Dan Kindlon, PhD, author of Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age.
The spoiled child syndrome is characterized by excessive self-centered and immature behavior, resulting from the failure of parents to enforce consistent, age-appropriate limits. Many of the problem behaviors that cause parental concern are unrelated to spoiling as properly understood.
Any parent will tell you kids can be depressing at times. A new study shows that raising them is a lifelong challenge to your mental health. Not only do parents have significantly higher levels of depression than adults who do not have children, the problem gets worse when the kids move out.
Being spoiled is not recognized as a mental disorder in any of the medical manuals, such as the ICD-10 or the DSM-IV, or its successor, the DSM-5.
Because they don't get along well with other children and adults, spoiled children eventually become unhappy. They may show decreased motivation and perseverance in their school work. There is also an association with increased risk-taking behaviors during adolescence, such as substance abuse.
When spoiled youngsters become teenagers, they're more prone to excessive self-absorption, lack of self-control, anxiety, and depression, says Dan Kindlon, PhD, author of Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age.
Spoiled children sometimes fail to learn responsible behavior. These children may end up developing social problems like overspending, gambling, overeating, and drug abuse in their adulthood. Such adults may lack emotional maturity and struggle to manage essential responsibilities like work, finances, and family.
Age 8 Is the Hardest Age to Parent, According to Parent Poll.
Children and adolescents with anxiety disorders are more likely to be raised by non-authoritative parents (e.g. overprotective, authoritarian, and neglectful styles), who tend to employ exaggerated (e.g. preventing autonomy), harsh, or inconsistent control.
Authoritarian and uninvolved parenting styles were most highly associated with levels of depressive symptoms in adolescence (Lipps, Lowe, Page 2 Gibson, Halliday, Morris, Clarke, & Wilson, 2012).
Too frequently, parents who spoil their children wind up swinging wildly on an emotional pendulum: They indulge their children so much that the children become intolerable; parents' resentment then builds until they explode at their children, and of course, guilt follows—resulting in yet another episode of indulgence, ...
Kids and parents often have different ideas about when support should stop. In the Money poll, parents helping adult children generally believed kids should be independent by age 25, but acknowledged that in their own situation, 30 was more likely. Young adults put those ages at 27 and 32, respectively.
Acting defiant and always negotiating
The bratty child has a real intolerance to not getting her way. She doesn't follow your rules and ignores when you say “no “or “stop.” This usually leads parents to come up with a payoff.
How to stop the bad behavior for good: Refuse to argue; instead, be consistent and clear about what kind of behavior is expected. "Acknowledge that there are times he might not want to do something—like put away his toys—and that his feelings are understandable, but tell him he still has to do it," says Dr. Severe.
Nurture Empathy to Decrease Selfishness
And because they can "feel with" someone else, they are more generous, unselfish, and caring. So nurture your child's empathy to help him see beyond himself and into the views of others. Point out others' emotions.
So un-spoiling is doable. But don't hold off on implementing these changes: The older the child, the more difficult it will be. “Remember, there is no gene for spoiled,” Borba said. “It's a learned behavior that can be unlearned — and the quicker, the better.”
Pampering creates weakness because children develop the belief that others should do everything for them. One of the greatest gifts you can give your children is to allow them to develop the belief, "I am capable." Children feel capable when they learn that they can survive the ups and downs of life.
Harmful Effects of Uninvolved Parenting Style
Uninvolved parenting is the worst style of parenting among the four types because children raised with this parenting style tend to fare the worse. Neglectful parenting can affect a child's well being and outcomes in development severely5.