If you have grown up with a narcissistic parent, there are many instances in which they may have traumatized you throughout your childhood. This can lead to PTSD or cPTSD in adulthood. PTSD can result from overt abuse and neglect, emotional neglect, and gaslighting.
Narcissistic parenting leaves you alone-and unable to trust. So later in life, you might experience emotional flashbacks and get triggered into intense feelings of anger, fear, shame and helpless depression.
Recovery after a breakup with a toxic narcissist can be hard to do. Psychological trauma from their abuse will not just go away. In fact, this type of abuse can cause long lasting post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD. The abuse from a narcissist is overwhelming.
The psychological effects of a narcissistic mother on her daughter can be long-lasting. The daughter may struggle with trust issues, abandonment issues, and self-esteem issues. She may also find it difficult to form healthy relationships due to the emotional manipulation she experienced from her mother.
Children who grow up in narcissistic family dynamic struggle with low self-esteem/confidence, indecisiveness, need external validation, experience poor relationships, especially romantic, in adulthood, and are unable to recognize and meet their own emotional needs(1).
A narcissistic parent will often abuse the normal parental role of guiding their children and being the primary decision maker in the child's life, becoming overly possessive and controlling. This possessiveness and excessive control disempowers the child; the parent sees the child simply as an extension of themselves.
Narcissistic parents are often emotionally abusive to their children, holding them to impossible and constantly changing expectations. Those with narcissistic personality disorder are highly sensitive and defensive. They tend to lack self-awareness and empathy for other people, including their own children.
Growing up with a narcissistic parent can be difficult. The children of a narcissist are often children who grow up to be codependent, people-pleasers, and have low self-esteem. They may never feel good enough for their parents or themselves.
Golden children are usually raised by narcissistic parents who are controlling and authoritarian. They coerce their child into being “perfect” by creating a toxic environment where the children do not feel safe voicing their own opinions or going against any rules.
Through ongoing gaslighting and demeaning of the partner, the narcissist undermines the individual's self-worth and self-confidence, creating extreme emotional abuse that is constant and devastating.
Persistent negative thoughts—about yourself, your worth, the world—believing any problems are your fault. Persistent negative feelings (e.g., fear, sadness, anger, shame, guilt). Inability to feel positive emotions such as joy, hope, peace, etc. Memory loss about particular instances of the abuse.
As a narcissistic abuse survivor, you will likely have symptoms of post-traumatic stress. Your brain will be on high alert, looking out for danger. This is because the traumatic events triggered a fight or flight response within you. As a result, anything associated with those memories can trigger an anxiety attack.
Narcissism tends to emerge as a psychological defence in response to excessive levels of parental criticism, abuse or neglect in early life. Narcissistic personalities tend to be formed by emotional injury as a result of overwhelming shame, loss or deprivation during childhood.
What is narcissistic rage? When a narcissistic parent explodes in rage at her child, she seeks to destroy and ask questions later. Children who suffered bouts of narcissistic rage from a parent often describe feeling hated by the parent.
The aftermath of narcissistic abuse can include depression, anxiety, hypervigilance, a pervasive sense of toxic shame, emotional flashbacks that regress the victim back to the abusive incidents, and overwhelming feelings of helplessness and worthlessness.
“You are overreacting.” “No one will ever love you with that attitude.” “You have an awful personality and can never do anything right.” “Everyone agrees that you're probably the worst person to go out with.”
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
A narcissistic mother is unable to provide unconditional love and care for her daughter. Her selfish and self-centred nature means that she can only 'love' her daughter if she is successful, attractive or behaves in a way that meets all of the mother's expectations.
The narcissistic mother micromanages and exerts an excessive level of control over the way her children act and look to the public. Her children are objects and must be pristine and polished in every way, lest their reputation or appearance taint her own.
Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
The silent treatment is an abusive method of control, punishment, avoidance, or disempowerment (sometimes these four typesoverlap, sometimes not) that is a favorite tactic of narcissists, and especially thosewho have a hard time with impulse control, that is, those with more infantile tendencies.
In narcissists' efforts to avoid blame, they often combine several fake apologies at once, such as, “I am sorry if I said anything to offend you, but I have strong opinions. Maybe you're too sensitive,” or, “I guess I should tell you I am sorry. But you know I would never deliberately hurt you.
According to Julie L. Hall, author of “The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free,” narcissists become more extreme versions of their worst selves as they age, which includes becoming more desperate, deluded, paranoid, angry, abusive, and isolated.
Very often, adult children of narcissistic parents display a great ability to show compassion and love for others, are able to form loving relationships, and to learn to love and care for themselves. It is possible to recover from growing up with a narcissistic parent, and this will be discussed later in this article.