You do not have to have a favorite person to be diagnosed with BPD, and this type of relationship can also occur with other types of personality disorders.
Objective. Individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) commonly have a favorite person (FP), whom they are heavily emotionally attached to and dependent on. This study aims to identify and illustrate the patterns of destructive FP relationships based on actual experiences described by those with BPD.
Another hallmark of borderline personality disorder is having a favorite person—usually a family member, romantic partner, or someone in a supportive role, such as a teacher or coach. For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation.
In real life, however, people may exhibit some traits of a certain personality type without it being a full-blown disorder. People tend to be on a spectrum of more or less severe symptoms before they come anywhere near a diagnosis.
People with BPD are extremely sensitive to their own, and others' emotions and feelings. This makes them incredibly compassionate and empathetic as they really can feel what someone else is going through. As such they make great listeners and tend to be the kind of people you want around after a bad day.
Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPDs) become overwhelmed and incapacitated by the intensity of their emotions, whether it is joy and elation or depression, anxiety, and rage. They are unable to manage these intense emotions.
Many people with BPD are deep thinkers, intuitive feelers, and many are intellectually gifted.
The symptoms of BPD are very broad, and some can be similar to or overlap with other mental health problems, such as: Bipolar disorder. Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) Depression.
But people with BPD often have a very profound lack of sense of self, or loss of identity. 1 If you struggle with the feeling that you have no idea who you are or what you believe in, this may be a symptom you can relate to.
“This can look like poor self-image and excessive self-criticism, feelings of emptiness and instability in goals, values and opinions.” Individuals living with quiet BPD may have decreased levels of empathy, high conflict relationships, clinginess and fear of abandonment, adds Dr. Lira de la Rosa.
People with BPD feel firmly attached to their favorite person and may depend on them for comfort, reassurance, and guidance. In many cases, someone with BPD may rely entirely on their favorite person. As a result, they may idealize them and expect them to always be available.
However, if the favorite person does something that the individual perceives as abandonment or rejection, they may feel overwhelmed by negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, or anxiety. These emotions can be all-consuming, leading to suicidal ideation, self-harm, or impulsive behavior.
In borderline personality disorder (BPD), splitting means a person has difficulty accurately assessing another individual or situation. It can lead to intensely polarizing views of others, for instance, as either very good or very bad.
BPD should not come with a label of “manipulative” or “clingy.” It's not a personality defect. It's a serious personality condition that needs attention and care. If you experience this condition, keep in mind that these symptoms are not your fault.
Understanding the Rollercoaster of BPD
People with borderline personality disorder often feel a huge amount of emotional instability. It impacts a person's self-image, likes and dislikes, and goals. This often makes them confused about their sense of self.
Many people who live with borderline personality disorder don't know they have it and may not realize there's a healthier way to behave and relate to others.
If left untreated, the person suffering from BPD may find themselves involved with extravagant spending, substance abuse, binge eating, reckless driving, and indiscriminate sex, Hooper says. The reckless behavior is usually linked to the poor self-image many BPD patients struggle with.
Some people with quiet BPD can hide their condition and appear successful, independent, and overall high functioning. You might be able to hold a job during the day, but crash into a depressive, anxious, or dissociative state when the day is over. Think of quiet BPD as a mask.
The Three Key Signs. Perhaps more importantly, and even more telling than specific symptoms associated with particular disorders, are matters of duration, rigidity, and globalism of the vexing behaviors.
One of the most common misdiagnoses for BPD is bipolar disorder. Both conditions have episodes of mood instability. When you have bipolar disorder, your mood may shift from depression to mania, in which you experience elation, elevated energy levels and a decreased need for sleep.
BPD is one of the most commonly misdiagnosed mental health conditions.
Borderline intellectual functioning, previously called borderline mental retardation (in the ICD-8), is a categorization of intelligence wherein a person has below average cognitive ability (generally an IQ of 70–85), but the deficit is not as severe as intellectual disability (below 70).
Research indicates that BPD is linked to above-average intelligence (IQ > 130) and exceptional artistic talent (Carver, 1997). Because your partner with BPD may be exceptionally bright, they digest information and discover answers to problems more quickly than the average person.
In a functional neuroimaging study, patients with BPD exhibited more and faster initial saccades towards the eyes of angry faces compared to a healthy control group. This interpersonal threat hypersensitivity was associated with increased amygdala activation [28].