It's time to work through your parent relationship for the sake of recovery and your future relationships. Trauma therapy can help you confront, accept, and process the past without retraumatizing you. In a safe space, your therapist can help you heal the damage your narcissistic mother or narcissistic father did.
Effects of Being Raised by Narcissists
In many instances, children suffered abuse from their NPD parent and may have developed symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Dr. Brunell says, “The child typically suffers from low psychological well-being, such as low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety.
Many victims describe that the road to recovery can be long and challenging, especially because of the way this kind of abuse erodes a person's sense of self-worth. Still, it's possible to recover and heal from narcissistic abuse, especially with a strong support system that includes a highly trained therapist.
Chronic abuse can lead to symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), especially in victims who experienced other traumas. The result of narcissistic abuse can also include a pervasive sense of shame, overwhelming feelings of helplessness, and emotional flashbacks.
Recovering from narcissistic abuse takes time, so you will have to remain patient. This process could take months or even years, but it's worth all of the hard work and effort. You can and will move on to find healthier and happier connections with others.
Children who grow up with a narcissistic parent tend to suffer from at least some of the following as children and as adults: anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, self-doubt, self-blame, indecision, people-pleasing tendencies, difficulties with emotional intimacy, and codependent relationships.
The psychological effects of a narcissistic mother on her daughter can be long-lasting. The daughter may struggle with trust issues, abandonment issues, and self-esteem issues. She may also find it difficult to form healthy relationships due to the emotional manipulation she experienced from her mother.
The cruelty and abuse of the narcissistic parent are nothing short of traumatic. Being exposed to endless self centered behavior can trap you in exhaustion, and the manipulation and lack of insight, which is a common narcissistic feature, can wear you to the bone.
If you have grown up with a narcissistic parent, there are many instances in which they may have traumatized you throughout your childhood. This can lead to PTSD or cPTSD in adulthood. PTSD can result from overt abuse and neglect, emotional neglect, and gaslighting.
Children who grow up in narcissistic family dynamic struggle with low self-esteem/confidence, indecisiveness, need external validation, experience poor relationships, especially romantic, in adulthood, and are unable to recognize and meet their own emotional needs(1).
A golden child's sense of self and their personal boundaries are erased, as their own sense of identity is replaced with the need to live up to their role. Their behaviors and beliefs reflect what their parent expects of them, and they may feel incapable of individuation even in adulthood.
A narcissistic mother may feel entitled or self-important, seek admiration from others, believe she is above others, lack empathy, exploit her children, put others down, experience hypersensitivity to criticism, believe she deserves special treatment, and worst of all, maybe naïve to the damage she is causing.
“You are overreacting.” “No one will ever love you with that attitude.” “You have an awful personality and can never do anything right.” “Everyone agrees that you're probably the worst person to go out with.”
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
Growing up with a narcissistic parent can be difficult. The children of a narcissist are often children who grow up to be codependent, people-pleasers, and have low self-esteem. They may never feel good enough for their parents or themselves.
Narcissists become more manipulative as they age
Narcissistic parents can be especially dangerous as they age, as they become more adept at manipulating their children to further their own agenda. Triangulation is a common tactic they use, playing one sibling off the other in order to create divisions between them.
The Scapegoat is usually victim of emotional and physical abuse by the narcissistic parent. The Lost Child is usually known as “the quiet one” or “the dreamer”. The Lost Child is the invisible child. They try to escape the family situation by making themselves very small and quiet.
According to Julie L. Hall, author of “The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free,” narcissists become more extreme versions of their worst selves as they age, which includes becoming more desperate, deluded, paranoid, angry, abusive, and isolated.
Recent studies confirm that narcissistic parents are incapable of truly loving others, even their own children.
Through ongoing gaslighting and demeaning of the partner, the narcissist undermines the individual's self-worth and self-confidence, creating extreme emotional abuse that is constant and devastating.
The stages of healing from narcissistic abuse typically take time, introspection, and support. However, recognizing the abuse is the first step. Furthermore, it's important to anticipate how the narcissist may react and it is essential that you have measures in place to take care of yourself.