Some believe that autistic people aren't interested in romantic relationships or aren't capable of romantic love. However, this is far from the truth. In fact, autistic people can make wonderful partners.
Yes, autistic people are capable of forming meaningful romantic relationships and dating. In fact, research has shown that those on the autism spectrum can often form strong bonds with their partners and experience a high level of satisfaction in their relationships.
Love and affection may be felt but expressed differently
The empathy circuitry of the brain is also working differently. Your autistic person feels love, and feels empathy too, but may struggle to express both in ways that lead to you feeling loved or empathised with.
Autistic people's difficulty with expressing emotions can make relationships difficult for them to navigate. Although people with autism have the same feelings as everyone else, their feelings can be more intense than those neurotypical people express.
But, for autistic people, romantic relationships are even more complex and confusing. Many people with autism crave intimacy and love. But, they don't know how to achieve it in a romantic relationship. They can feel blind to everyday subtle social cues from their partner.
People on the spectrum may have trouble recognizing their own emotions, or they may feel emotions more intensely. “There might be some biological differences in the arousal systems in the brain,” Beck says.
Individuals with autism can also have an aversion to touch. Touch can cause a lack of emotional response or may even cause emotional stress and turmoil. Touch aversion in autism can feel uncomfortable for friends and family who are unfamiliar with this common response.
Research has found that autistic people are equally interested in romantic relationships as neurotypical people. They just tend to have a slightly harder time knowing how to navigate dating and interpreting social cues, particularly at the start of the relationship.
It's true that many people with autism don't show emotion in ways that people without the condition would recognize. But the notion that people with autism generally lack empathy and cannot recognize feelings is wrong.
One concept that alludes many autistics is flirting. It is a challenge because they're often very literal. When someone is flirting, they do or say things, that in a literal sense, don't make sense. This non-literal behavior can be very challenging for neurodiverse adults to understand.
People with autism may get easily attached to people, leading them to become over-friendly. It can be difficult to understand other people's perceptions of situations, therefore what they feel is appropriate, may be considered as socially unacceptable.
While many children with autism feel averse to hugging, some children with autism like to be hugged. Some children can swing the opposite way and want so many hugs that they feel hug deprived when they aren't getting enough.
The pressure to date causes many individuals with autism to move too fast in relationships. Sometimes, the pressure to date causes neurodiverse individuals to enter into relationships too quickly and not fully vet the partner they are dating.
Although some people on the autism spectrum enjoy fulfilling relationships, there are others for whom emotional attachment can be difficult and this may affect intimate relationships, family relationships and friendships.
Sometimes, people with autism have a harder time regulating their emotions. They may rely on unique self-soothing strategies to deal with intense emotions, and either seek out or avoid sensory stimuli like bright lights, loud sounds and intense smells.
Facial expressions smooth social interactions: A smile may show interest, a frown empathy. People with autism have difficulty making appropriate facial expressions at the right times, according to an analysis of 39 studies1. Instead, they may remain expressionless or produce looks that are difficult to interpret.
For some autistic adults, emotions do not show, either on their face, in their body or in their tone of voice. The circuitry in the brain responsible for expression of emotion through the body and voice is working differently in autism.
While some people with autism merely yell or stamp, many really do become overwhelmed by their own emotions. 3 Bolting, hitting, self-abuse, crying, and screaming are all possibilities. These can be particularly frightening—and even dangerous—when the autistic individual is physically large.
Nearly half of adults with autism live with a family member and about one in five is unemployed, according to a new analysis1. Only 5 percent have ever been married.
Autistic teenagers develop romantic feelings just as other children the same age do. Visual supports and social stories can help autistic teenagers recognise attraction and negotiate romantic relationships.
Up to 90 percent of people with autism are either overly sensitive to sound, sight, taste, smell or touch, or barely notice them at all. Some seek out sensations by, for example, spinning in circles or stroking items with particular textures.
Yes, it's normal for autistic adults to talk to themselves occasionally. Many people on the autism spectrum like to review conversations to themselves for numerous reasons. This can include repeating lines from their favorite TV shows or movies, and this is known as "scripting".
Though autistic people may respond to emotions and social cues differently than neurotypical people, this does not mean they lack empathy. Just like neurotypical people, levels of empathy vary between autistic individuals.