Romantic relationships can be difficult to maneuver when you're dating on the autism spectrum. Romantic relationships are complex and confusing for neurotypical people. But, for autistic people, romantic relationships are even more complex and confusing.
Autistic people's difficulty with expressing emotions can make relationships difficult for them to navigate. Although people with autism have the same feelings as everyone else, their feelings can be more intense than those neurotypical people express.
Research has found that autistic people are equally interested in romantic relationships as neurotypical people. They just tend to have a slightly harder time knowing how to navigate dating and interpreting social cues, particularly at the start of the relationship.
While autistic people on average are less likely to marry or be in long-term relationships15,16, many have partners17 and relatively few report not being interested in being in a romantic relationship18.
Some autistic people might like more 'obvious' forms of flirting like grand gestures, crafting things for someone or writing letters.
Although some people on the autism spectrum enjoy fulfilling relationships, there are others for whom emotional attachment can be difficult and this may affect intimate relationships, family relationships and friendships.
Many of us on the spectrum also have heightened challenges with sensitivity and transition, and breakups can have a negative effect on us both physically and mentally.
Some kids on the spectrum feel a constant need for affection because they are not sure when or if the attention will be available. Schedule 5 to 10 minutes every day when you can provide your youngster with undivided attention (i.e., no computer, T.V., cell phones, etc.).
Love and affection may be felt but expressed differently
They may show love, for example, through a practical act, and tidy up for you, or iron your shirt, rather than through a more neurotypical way of looking at you and telling you or using physical affection.
Some people with autism don't instinctively think to give kisses or hugs and tell you they love you, so their partner often has to be the one to initiate these things. As they learn, they'll get better at consciously deciding to do these things on their own.
Some people with autism may have the ability to sense emotional needs in someone else, even if they are not outwardly visible. In such cases, they may show love by doing something, rather than saying something, in unique ways.
Autistic individuals may have problems communicating sexual needs which can cause issues in intimate relationships. They may seek to satisfy these needs on their own, rather than communicate them with their partner. In turn, this can result in hurt feelings.
These responses are often described as a general hypersensitivity, but they are more complex than that: Sometimes autistic people crave touch; sometimes they cringe from it.
Persons on the autism spectrum often have trouble staying on topic and maintaining a conversation. Social skills are also affected. Eye contact may be difficult and sometimes facial expressions may not reflect an individual's true feelings. Social cues are often missed or misread.
Social-Emotional Reciprocity
On the other hand, some people with autism might overshare and might not know when to let the other person have a turn to talk. People with autism might also struggle to share what they are thinking or feeling with other people.
People on the spectrum may have trouble recognizing their own emotions, or they may feel emotions more intensely. “There might be some biological differences in the arousal systems in the brain,” Beck says.
Behind the acclaim is Quinni Gallagher-Jones (Chloe Hayden), an autistic Hartley High student. Hayden, herself an autistic person, writer, and disability rights activist, is one of the first openly autistic actresses to play an openly autistic lead.
Approximately 36% of individuals with autism in our sample experienced a parental divorce by age 30. Higher rates of divorce were associated with maternal education, race and age at child's birth, as well as autism symptom severity and diagnosis.
Aspies tend to express love through practical actions, whereas NTs are more likely to express love through words or symbolic actions.
Touch is an important component of many social experiences for many people. Autistic children commonly avoid social touch more than non-autistic peers. It is generally thought that this is due to autistic individuals experiencing hyper- or hyposensitivity of touch.
Children With Autism Are Capable of Forming Secure Attachments. One of the more common traits of autism is difficulty with reciprocal social interactions. And yet, studies have found that a sizable group of autistic individuals form secure attachments.
Sensory Issues
Many people with autism experience sensory processing disorder. This is more commonly known as sensory overload. Noise, crowds, bright lights, strong tastes, smells, and being touched can feel unbearable to someone with HFA. This makes going to restaurants, movies, and shopping malls difficult.
Autistic individuals prefer predictability, routines, and patterns, making sudden changes difficult. It bothers them greatly when unexpected changes occur, and they become very upset about it. For instance, HFA individuals may stick with routines developed for them by other people or themselves.