Many people who live with borderline personality disorder don't know they have it and may not realize there's a healthier way to behave and relate to others.
People with borderline personality disorders are aware of their behaviors and the consequences of them and often act in increasingly erratic ways as a self-fulfilling prophecy to their abandonment fears.
Understanding the Rollercoaster of BPD
People with borderline personality disorder often feel a huge amount of emotional instability. It impacts a person's self-image, likes and dislikes, and goals. This often makes them confused about their sense of self.
But what makes the condition even harder is that many people who live with Borderline Personality Disorder don't even know they have it. BPD is one of the most commonly misdiagnosed mental health conditions.
One of the symptoms of borderline personality disorder listed in the DSM-5 is identity disturbance, where you have an unstable self-image or sense of self. People with borderline personality disorder have trouble understanding who they are or what their beliefs are.
When you have BPD, your sense of self is typically unstable. Sometimes you may feel good about yourself, but other times you hate yourself, or even view yourself as evil. You probably don't have a clear idea of who you are or what you want in life.
People with Borderline Personality Disorder are so convinced that they will inevitably be abandoned by loved ones that their behavior can swing in disparate directions in desperate attempts to avoid the pain of loss. Frequently, loved ones are subjected to intense rage and blame attacks.
Are Gaslighters Aware of What They Do? Some people who gaslight others are aware of their actions and have even studied how to improve their techniques.
Not only is BPD one of the most painful mental illnesses, but it's also intensified by stigma and being misunderstood by others. Fortunately, borderline personality disorder is a treatable condition, and the pain doesn't have to be endless.
People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.
Research from 2017 points out that feelings of loneliness are common in people with BPD. Many people with BPD have a strong desire to be close to others. However, fear of abandonment or a skewed sense of self may cause them to act impulsively or aggressively in an effort to keep loved ones close to them.
Borderline personality disorder directly affects how one feels about him or herself, one's behaviors as well as how an individual can relate to others. Psychoanalytic theorists assert that individuals with BPD are often intolerant of being alone, which may be caused by experiencing “annihilation anxiety…
The types of lies people with BPD tell
Very often, the individual does not believe there is anything noteworthy about their life or their experiences, which leads them to lie in order to make themself more interesting, more important, or to fit in with a specific group.
People with BPD may experience rage when they perceive rejection, neglect, or abandonment in a relationship. During rage, a person may say or do things that they later regret. This could lead to ending the relationship in the heat of the moment. BPD rage is often followed by significant regret and shame.
Studies have found that there are clear links between BPD and memory loss. One such study determined that BPD patients displayed enhanced instances of memory loss in response to the presentation of negative emotions. 1 This is thought to occur because of other severe dissociative symptoms that sufferers experience.
Anything that causes someone to feel rejected or abandoned could be a trigger. While these fears are especially common in romantic relationships, any real (or perceived, for that matter) abandonment could escalate BPD symptoms. Breakups, canceled plans, or losing a job can all be triggering.
Maintaining a relationship with a friend or family member with BPD can be difficult. However, it's important to understand that people with BPD often engage in destructive behaviors not because they intend to hurt you but because their suffering is so intense that they feel they have no other way to survive.
The destructive and hurtful behaviors are a reaction to deep emotional pain. In other words, they're not about you. When your loved one does or says something hurtful towards you, understand that the behavior is motivated by the desire to stop the pain they are experiencing; it's rarely deliberate.
Dating someone with borderline personality disorder can be challenging. Your partner may have major difficulties with strong emotions, drastic mood swings, chronic fear of abandonment, and impulsive behaviors that can strain your relationship with chaos and instability.
They have anger outbursts and become particularly volatile. More often than not, they're not intentionally manipulating others — hence the quotation marks. Although their actions appear malicious, they're just trying to get their needs met.
Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.
BPD makes people more likely to engage in impulsive or risky behaviors, such as: Speeding or other unsafe driving. Unprotected sex or sex with strangers. Binge eating.
Symptoms of BPD Cause Unstable Attachment
Fear of abandonment contributes to the emotional dysregulation associated with chronic fear and worry about separation and lack of access to their loved ones.
Compared to non-patients, BPD patients showed the anticipated higher crying frequency despite a similar crying proneness and ways of dealing with tears. They also reported less awareness of the influence of crying on others.