In BPD, stress-related dissociation is a core symptom, closely linked to other features of the disorder [1, 49]. Up to 80% of patients with BPD report transient dissociative symptoms, such as derealization, depersonalization, numbing, and analgesia [1, 50].
Those with BPD experiencing dissociation often feel lost, scared, and detached from reality. While dissociation is not the primary symptom of BPD, it is one of the symptoms that make getting treatment for BPD all the more urgent.
The Borderline Personality Disorder provides an example of the affective pattern of experiencing both emotional extremes; from highly intense and dys-regulated emotions, to the extreme opposite-- feelings of numbness and detachment.
Coping skills for BPD are often centered around learning to manage moments of emotional instability and/or control anger. Some techniques to help in these situations could include: Using stress-reduction techniques, like deep breathing or meditation. Engaging in light exercise, like walking or yoga.
People with BPD need validation and acknowledgement of the pain they're struggling with. Listen to the emotion your loved one is trying to communicate without getting bogged down in attempting to reconcile the words being used. Try to make the person with BPD feel heard.
But with some individuals with BPD, you don't want to get into the habit of allowing certain things such as calls after hours, visits to your home without announcing it, borrowing your things and never returning them, driving your car and keeping it longer than they should, etc.
Dissociation in BPD is closely linked to emotion dysregulation, disturbed identity, and relationship problems. Emotion dysregulation includes a tendency to experience intense overwhelming emotions.
Other participants noted that chronic emptiness often arose when they were experiencing interpersonal distress – such as comparing themselves to others or feeling like no one cared about them, or interpersonal dysfunction – including conflict in relationships.
Loneliness may be common with BPD, but it's not impossible to overcome. There are many strategies you can use to feel less alone, such as joining a support group, taking classes, caring for an animal, and finding new ways to communicate with your loved ones. You may also want to consider engaging in therapy.
Cyclical Nature of BPD Abandonment
The fear of being abandoned often causes people with BPD to form unhealthy attachments. Sometimes, they may abruptly cut off these relationships, effectively abandoning their partners. Other times, they make frantic attempts to hold onto relationships.
Borderline personality disorder can impact relationships.
These relationships end because the person's behaviors become too much for the other person to handle. “Relationships with an untreated BPD individual can feel exhausting, a never-ending process of putting out fires,” says Gilbert.
Grounding is one skill that can be used to reduce dissociation. Grounding exercises involve using external stimuli and your five senses (sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste) to reconnect with the present.
Zoning out is considered a type of dissociation, which is a feeling of being disconnected from the world around you. Some people experience severe dissociation, but "zoning out" is considered a much milder form. Daydreaming is the most common kind of zoning or spacing out.
Certain personality types tend to be more manipulative than others. People with borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and sociopaths are more likely to gaslight those around them.
Impulsive, self-destructive behavior may be an attempt to ward off rising anxiety related to the fear of being left alone. The flip side of the fear is the hope that a relationship will be completely soothing.
Intense episodic irritability or anxiety lasting a few hours or more than a few days). Recurring feelings of emptiness. Frequent intense, inappropriate anger or issues controlling temper. Severe dissociative symptoms or stress-related paranoia.
Persistent feelings of emptiness: Many people with BPD feel sad, bored, unfulfilled or “empty.” Feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing are common, too. Anger management issues: People with BPD have difficulty controlling their anger and often become intensely angry.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
It is often used to gain some sort of advantage over the target by weakening their clarity and hence their judgment so that they can be taken advantage of in some way. Gaslighting causes people not to trust themselves and undermines their self-confidence and self-esteem.
BPD in particular is one of the lesser-known mental illnesses, but all the same it is one of the hardest to reckon with. (Some people dislike the term so much they prefer to refer to emotionally unstable personality disorder.)
In borderline personality disorder (BPD), splitting means a person has difficulty accurately assessing another individual or situation. It can lead to intensely polarizing views of others, for instance, as either very good or very bad.
Challenges with Relationships
Relationships are an ongoing challenge and frequently a source of pain for someone with BPD because they're eager for connection but they're also terrified of having others abandon them.