Infidelity can be traumatic, causing intensely painful emotions for the person who was cheated on. They may actually experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including heightened anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and emotional distress.
Infidelity can have lasting impacts on partners and children the couple may have. Grief, brain changes, behaviors down the road, and mental health conditions such as anxiety, chronic stress, and depression can result.
Belonging to an OCD subtype referred to as Relationship OCD, people with OCD who are afraid of cheating often experience intrusive thoughts that cause anxiety, followed by a search for certainty through compulsive behaviors, such as repeatedly checking a partner's phone, despite no cause for concern ever popping up.
Traits of deceitfulness, manipulation and lack of remorse with zero empathy for their impact on others has been found time and time again in chronic cheaters. So how do we find ourselves in these relationships? Whether someone is a narcissist or a sociopath, or indeed both - these characteristics pair well together.
Results of a 2005 study show that there is a significant difference between cheaters and non-cheaters when it comes to the Big Five model of personality traits. Poor self control, selfishness, anger, boredom, and attention-seeking are the most common reasons a person is unfaithful in their relationship.
Cheaters are impulsive, and can't resist taking that risk despite what it might cost them. Cheaters, like bullies, are fueled by power, and drawn to risk. This kind of behavior, however, is a reflection of something deeply rooted inside of them.
According to psychologists, people with avoidant attachment styles are individuals uncomfortable with intimacy and are therefore more likely to multiply sexual encounters and cheat.
Cheaters often react to an accusation of cheating with denial, showing no guilt signs. This can be a simple 'no' or more of a statement of unwillingness to accept the accusation. Whatever the form, denial is likely to be one of the first responses to allegations of cheating.
Unfortunately, there are several long-term effects of infidelity that can affect a person long after the cheating has stopped. These can be life-changing, and lead to the development of certain mental health conditions including chronic depression, anxiety, post-infidelity stress disorder, and betrayal trauma.
Being cheated on
Cheaters actually have a deep-seated fear of betrayal themselves. They often feel suspicious and rejected in relationships and use this as an excuse to step out on their partners. Cheating gives philandering folks a feeling of power and control in their lives and relationships.
Mental Health Consequences of Cheating
Part of the reason cheating comes as such as huge blow is because it actually impacts our mental health, causing increased symptoms of anxiety and depression, as well as other distress.
The Progression of Infidelity
Much like the stages of grief, the stages of infidelity are not always linear. For one person, it may be micro-cheating that turns into emotional infidelity, followed by physical infidelity. For another, digital infidelity may turn into physical infidelity.
5 Behavioral Changes To Expect From Your Partner After Getting Caught Cheating. “You can expect your partner to respond in extremes. They'll either become too hostile, or overly friendly. You might see them giving you more attention, buying you gifts, to overcompensate for their mistake,” says Kavita.
Cheating husbands may be defensive over the smallest things. They may seem unusually sensitive or touchy about things that seem harmless to you. If you ask an innocent question about what they had for lunch, they may snap at you and accuse you of being controlling or demanding.
For instance, it's common to feel disappointed or betrayed after infidelity, so take a moment to recognize these feelings are normal. "In general, getting over infidelity follows the usual stages of grief: shock/denial; anger/defiance; bargaining; depression, remorse; and acceptance," explains Weiss.
Some cheaters get angry when confronted.
In fact, people who are being unfaithful to their partners often act unusually irritable or look for excuses to pick fights, even when you're not directly confronting them about what's going on.
A cheater, however, may get defensive because you've blown their cover, says Milrad. "It is very common for cheaters to deflect responsibility and get irritated by your questions. They often try and shut you down and even criticize you for being too controlling or suspicious."
Inherent Selfishness/Entitlement.
Some cheaters, despite loving their partner and enjoying their relationship, feel they deserve more. Rather than seeing their vow of fidelity as a sacrifice made to and for their relationship, they view it as something to be worked around.
A whole separate phone or SIM card
The most clever cheaters may use a separate phone or SIM card to keep phone communication discreet. A SIM card is especially devious because your partner can use the same device and then switch out the entire volume of data without anyone realizing it.
The one thing all cheaters have in common is a lack of impulse control. Unfortunately, they also tend to be opportunistic and have an inflated sense of their own importance. What is this? Not only do serial cheaters adopt similar behavioral habits, but they also share a number of personality traits.
Being insecure
Another reason why someone might cheat is because they are insecure. "Usually, in this scenario, the partner that wants to cheat is seeking out confirmation of their desirability," Winter told INSIDER. "And they use the reinforcement of a new person to bolster their own self-confidence."
Research in the field of infidelity reveals that there are three distinct personality types correlated with a higher likelihood of cheating: sociopaths, narcissists, and lonely hearts.
"Researchers find that partnerships characterized by dissatisfaction, unfulfilling sex, and high conflict are at higher risk for infidelity," she says. "Also, the more dissimilar partners are—in terms of personality, education level, and other factors—the more likely they are to experience infidelity."
Simply put, cheating is being unfaithful to your partner.
There are different types of cheating in a relationship, and it doesn't only involve physical affairs. Instead, cheating seeks sexual intimacy, emotional attachment, or gratification from someone other than your partner.