A cheater, however, may get defensive because you've blown their cover, says Milrad: “It is very common for cheaters to deflect responsibility and get irritated by your questions. They often try and shut you down and even criticize you for being too controlling or suspicious.”
He Gets Angry Or Defensive More Easily
A cheating partner can exhibit angry, defensive behavior if they feel guilty about committing an infidelity, which can sometimes cause them to overreact even to seemingly small questions.
Anger or Aggression
Anger and aggression are two other common initial reactions to accusations of cheating. Cheaters often use anger as a form of deflection to turn the situation around and make accusations against you instead, like that you don't trust them enough.
Doubt can quickly turn to denial, as most innocent people will firmly deny any claims of cheating. This denial is often based on the belief that their moral code and values would never lead them to cheat in any capacity. Anger and frustration are also normal responses when an innocent person is accused of cheating.
One of the most common reactions to being accused of cheating is anger. It's a knee-jerk reaction and it's often the case when someone is actually guilty – not always, but often. They're desperately scrambling to cover it up and their emotions rise to the point where anger takes over.
When a narcissist is caught cheating and lying, they often make up a heap of more lies to convince you that they've been nothing but faithful. Even if you have evidence of cheating, they're likely to deny everything and even project their infidelity onto you.
They tend to point a lot.
"When a liar becomes hostile or defensive, he is attempting to turn the tables on you," says Glass. The liar will get hostile because he is angry that you've discovered his lies, which may result in a lot of pointing.
Cheaters actually have a deep-seated fear of betrayal themselves. They often feel suspicious and rejected in relationships and use this as an excuse to step out on their partners. Cheating gives philandering folks a feeling of power and control in their lives and relationships.
Not only do they apologize, and often, but they also openly express what they're apologizing for. They don't make vague statements or blanket apologies. They show their remorse by doing things that they feel will lessen your pain. It's about both words and actions.
Cheaters are impulsive, and can't resist taking that risk despite what it might cost them. Cheaters, like bullies, are fueled by power, and drawn to risk. This kind of behavior, however, is a reflection of something deeply rooted inside of them.
Among men, 68% feel guilty after having an affair. Even if they haven't confessed the affair, most cheating husbands will feel guilty and express that guilt in their behavior. You may notice subtle changes in their behavior that make you wonder if your spouse is displaying cheating husband guilt.
Although infidelity in a relationship is often subjective, there are common signs that point to cheating behaviors in a boyfriend. These may include a change in mood, increased distraction, less importance placed on the relationship, or more time spent on devices, among others.
The physical signs of cheating are the most obvious. This includes spending more time with friends and less with you, avoiding sex, having a random or significantly changed schedule, and changes in their appearance.
The phone is always angled away from you. They are constantly scrambling to keep the phone within reach. When bedtime rolls around, they don't put their phone on the nightstand anymore – it's always tucked under the pillow. This is a common red flag.
A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance. 1 It's important to understand that these reasons arise within the cheater and are not the responsibility of the betrayed partner.
They're getting defensive
If you ask someone a question and they immediately get defensive and worked up, it might be because they're lying, Dimitiu tells Romper. It's generally not a good sign, and you're probably not getting the whole truth at the very least.
Becoming angry and defensive
If they feel that someone closes in on their lies and raises questions, liars tend to get angry and defensive. Even if no one is outright accusing them, they have an overblown reaction due to their fear of being caught.
The karma of betrayal in a relationship is surely true but that doesn't mean you go out of your way to punish them and plot vengeance against them. Cheaters get karma by drowning in self-hate which is a consequence of their own actions.
Guilty reactions to cheating are psychological but also tend to manifest externally in behavior, actions, and physiology. Cheater's guilt is when the person who has transgressed feels terrible about his or her actions and struggles with what to do. It is a painful feeling of having let down the person you love.
If this is someone that you know well, and you are confident that they'd want to know the truth, you should probably come forward and be honest. If on the other hand, you do not have all the facts about the situation, or you don't know the person very well, it may be best to keep quiet.