Only when the consequences start piling up do most cheaters realize that they made a mistake. In other cases, if you're able to spot the cheating guilt signs in someone, know that they've most probably realized the mistake they've made and are now finding it difficult to deal with cheater's guilt.
They experience overwhelming guilt, their extended relationships suffer, and they often fear the potential karmic effects of adultery. Cheaters often realize the effect of cheating in relationships once the damage is done. Counseling can be helpful for people who have a pattern of being unfaithful to their partners.
Some feel really bad and truly regret it, others not as much. But no matter how much guilt or remorse a cheating person expresses outwardly, they all feel it inwardly to some extent. Cheaters are often able to separate themselves from their feelings and conscience.
Sometimes cheaters on the verge of getting caught dig in with more secrets and lies, but try to do it more effectively. Cheaters often resort to tactics like denial and gaslighting that further harm the relationship.
Shame and guilt.
You may not admit it, but if you cheat, you're going to be ashamed and feel guilty, especially if your partner finds out and tells other people. These toxic emotions will keep you from being emotionally free to be truly happy.
Strong partners
Most cheaters are afraid of being alone. Contradictory by nature, a cheating mate is actually terrified of his or her partner leaving. A strong spouse who is willing to walk away and have a life outside of the relationship is a scary scenario for an adulterer.
Sometimes, cheaters don't always have a guilty conscience. A lack of guilt or remorse can lead to a complete disregard for the consequences of our actions. As a result, cheaters--and especially serial cheaters--may act impulsively, without concern for how their words or actions affect those around them.
They deny the whole thing
Perhaps the most common answer to 'how do cheaters react when accused' is that they deny it ever happened. They lie and say that whoever told you is also lying, they say that they would never do that to you, they just flat-out completely deny that the whole thing ever occurred.
Cheaters may lie or deny what happened.
They might also say things to make you doubt yourself, like “You're just being paranoid,” or “That's crazy, why would you think that?” This form of deception is called “gaslighting.” Spotting the difference between a lie and an honest denial can be tricky.
Cheaters can change because they learn about themselves and what led them to cheat in the first place. They get help from others so they can understand what they did to their partner. Cheaters can change because they are humans and humans can change.
People who cheat are likely impulsive and destructive at decision making. Instead of thinking about you and what happens to the relationship after cheating, they go based on what they want right now. Impulsiveness can be seen in other areas of the relationship, too. So keep an eye out.
“I feel like karma finally caught up with me.”
It's also not unusual for the cheater who's been caught to feel that karma has caught up with them and repaid them for their actions in secret. They know their behavior, once discovered, would hurt their spouse or partner.
Lack of remorse after an affair could be because they don't feel guilty or bad about what they did or how they behaved. Additionally, they may not know how to show remorse after cheating. Related Reading: How to Apologize to Someone You Hurt?
Some serial cheaters experience guilt over their actions, but others show little or no remorse. Most of the time, it is difficult for them to change their cheating habits, but with the right steps and intentions, it is possible.
A cheating partner can exhibit angry, defensive behavior if they feel guilty about committing an infidelity, which can sometimes cause them to overreact even to seemingly small questions.
Common reactions include surprise and disbelief, denial of the accusation, anger and frustration, a desire to prove their innocence, and a willingness to cooperate with any efforts to investigate the situation.
They want you to stop. Selfish cheaters cannot stand to admit they're wrong. They can't stand the thought that they themselves are a villain. So the conflicting emotions caused by cognitive dissonance results in a different, unjustified emotion— anger.
Cheating can also damage our brain's ability to process information accurately, leading to poorer decision-making. In addition, cheating can impact our ability to form and maintain relationships. When we cheat, we are breaking the bonds of trust that are essential for healthy relationships.
So fairly or unfairly, cheaters do get their karma in some way or the other. It's a fallacy to think that people who stray have it easy. While the reason for entering an affair might be different for each person, it is common for cheaters to feel guilt, shame, anxiety, worry, and other negative emotions.
Unforgivable: Cheating With A Friend
"If someone cheats on you with your friend, co-worker, or someone actively involved in your life? That's unforgivable," Graber says. "Because they're in your life, you're almost guaranteed to find out about it.
A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance. 1 It's important to understand that these reasons arise within the cheater and are not the responsibility of the betrayed partner.
And finally, "for some people, it is a way to get out of a marriage that they don't want to be in," says Kirschner. "They simply don't have the guts to leave. So they subconsciously want to be found out in order to be 'released.