Deep down,
Control freaks believe with enough effort and skill they can accomplish anything. They don't believe in timing or luck. They often say things like, “Failure isn't an option,” and they are overly critical of themselves when things don't go as planned.
Control freaks tend to have a psychological need to be in charge of things and people - even circumstances that cannot be controlled. The need for control, in extreme cases, stem from deeper psychological issues such as obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD), anxiety disorders or personality disorders.
Control freaks rarely know that they are one. They believe that they are helping people with their "constructive criticism" or taking over a project because "no one else will do it right." They don't see their controlling behaviors as symptoms of what's really going on--their own anxiety has run amuck.
Having a controlling personality is not considered to be a personality disorder; however, contemporary psychodynamic theory and practice see DMS-V personality disorders as being environmental as opposed to purely psychiatric (biological and physiological) conditions.
Controlling Behavior and Personality Disorders
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD): A person with NPD exhibits controlling behaviors due to needing excessive admiration and lacking empathy for others. Borderline personality disorder (BPD): A person with BPD may be manipulative.
If they find themselves in a situation where they are not in control, they tend to go ballistic. Since control freaks feel the need to be in control of every aspect of their life, they also have this strong need to control their image.
Control is typically a reaction to the fear of losing control. People who struggle with the need to be in control often fear being at the mercy of others, and this fear may stem from traumatic events that left them feeling helpless and vulnerable.
Nevertheless, control freaks can and often do make very good, successful leaders. Why is that one of the best-kept secrets in the business world? Two reasons: For one thing, control freaks tend to keep pretty busy, well, controlling, running companies, bossing people around, and generating gobs of free cash flow.
Understanding Controlling People
Insecurity — Controlling behavior is often the result of fear or insecurity on the part of the controller, despite the image of strength and confidence he or she often projects.
You experience a lot of anxiety and worry about things you have no control over. You believe you are completely responsible for outcomes in your life, you also believe you can prevent bad things from happening if you work hard enough at it.
Judith Orloff advises, "Be healthily assertive rather than controlling. Stay confident and refuse to play the victim. Most important, always take a consistent, targeted approach." Control freaks love a good power struggle; playing into it never ends well.
Controlling, or manipulative behaviour is one of the key traits of a personality disorder called psychopathy. Thomas Erikson: Psychopaths, they are drawn to control, they are drawn to power, they are drawn to attention as a part of their narcissistic behaviour.
It may be possible for a controlling person to change their behavior over time with psychotherapy if a relationship is unhealthy and not abusive. However, if a relationship involves abuse, a person's behavior could escalate to physical violence.
Overly controlling behavior is a common red flag. People that try to control your movements, decisions, or beliefs are more concerned about what they want than what is best for you. In a healthy relationship, there is compromise and understanding around differences. Not one person controls the other person's actions.
Type C personalities tend to be quite controlling, both of themselves and others. They don't like things to get out of hand and may appear stoic because they don't really want themselves to display a lot of emotion.
Controlling behavior and manipulation are toxic and don't align with what open and honest communication is all about—which is necessary for a healthy relationship. If you ever feel unsafe due to someone else's behavior, trust your gut and remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible.
Causes of Controlling Behavior
The most common are anxiety disorders and personality disorders. People with anxiety disorders feel a need to control everything around them in order to feel at peace. They may not trust anyone else to handle things the way they will.
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domineering. adjective. trying to control other people and make them obey you.
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