Manipulators Can CHANGE Manipulators can certainly change, and we can help facilitate that change to make both our lives and the world a better place.
The person manipulating — called the manipulator — seeks to create an imbalance of power, and take advantage of a victim to get power, control, benefits, and/or privileges at the expense of the victim. Manipulation can happen in close or casual relationships, but they are more common in closely formed relationships.
Emotional manipulation is scary because it can make you doubt everything about yourself: Your worth, your beliefs, even your own perceptions. Emotional manipulators do sometimes have real feelings for you. But their behavior makes that irrelevant in most cases.
To fix manipulative behavior, you first need to recognize it. Once you can realize when you're beginning to act this way, you can work to stop yourself. Try your best to let things go, be spontaneous, and make decisions with the help of others.
Histrionic Personality
Individuals with this personality are excessively dramatic and are often viewed by the public as the “Queen of drama” type of individual. They are often sexually seductive and highly manipulative in relationships.
Manipulation is generally considered a dishonest form of social influence as it is used at the expense of others. Manipulative tendencies may derive from personality disorders such as borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, or antisocial personality disorder.
Not everyone who manipulates is actually aware they do. They may think that's how relationships work or even believe you manipulate them too and they need to respond. In some instances, they may be aware of their actions but not of how they affect you.
They are afraid of vulnerability. Manipulators seldom express their needs, desires, or true feelings. They seek out the vulnerabilities in others in order to take advantage of them for their own benefits and deflect their true motives. They have no ability to love, empathy, guilt, remorse, or conscience.
Manipulative people can be extremely nice, pushy, or even emotionally abusive. These individuals really have no interest in your life, however, they may pretend to care to get what they want.
Emotional abuse is a form of trauma, and trauma is well-established as a serious physical and mental health concern. The number-one reason manipulators prey on your emotions is because that is the quickest and most efficient way to get what they want from you—and to maintain that relationship for the long run.
Love bombing, or rushing into a relationship too quickly, often with grand gestures and signs of emotional manipulation can be a big red flag because it often “means they feel like they're filling a hole in their life…they're grabbing on to you because you're the answer to everything,” Reed explains.
While anyone can be manipulated, expert manipulators tend to target people with and take advantage of certain personality traits. These traits include: The desire to be liked or to please; these people are more likely to take extraordinary measures to gain favor. Low self-esteem.
People with NPD or narcissistic tendencies sometimes show a pattern of manipulative, controlling behavior that involves both verbal abuse and emotional manipulation. Common types of narcissistic manipulation include: Triangulation.
People manipulate others to get what they want. This type of behavior may have a number of causes including interpersonal dynamics, personality characteristics, a dysfunctional upbringing, attachment issues, or certain mental health conditions.
It can damage trust, cause resentment, and affect your mental health and well-being. Overall, Arganda-Stevens indicates it can create a lack of emotional safety. “Emotional manipulation in relationships can create stress, resentment, and fear around being manipulated,” she says.
Personality disorders are some of the most difficult disorders to treat in psychiatry. This is mainly because people with personality disorders don't think their behavior is problematic, so they don't often seek treatment.
Depression is very real and is not a tool of manipulation used to control others. However, the person with depression may employ manipulative behaviors. Depression doesn't develop in a vacuum. The person who has depression may also have a manipulative personality.
“Manipulation is an emotionally unhealthy psychological strategy used by people who are incapable of asking for what they want and need in a direct way,” says Sharie Stines, a California-based therapist who specializes in abuse and toxic relationships.
Blaming. Blaming is a way of avoiding responsibility for one's words and actions. A manipulator may assign fault to the other party to keep the focus off of themselves. This can lead to feelings of guilt and misplaced responsibility.