' If not managed with enough care and awareness, being with an emotionally unavailable partner can be damaging, and it leads not only to feelings of loneliness and isolation but can even erode your self-esteem.
These people need to first get in touch with their own feelings before they are able to share feelings with their partner. All emotionally unavailable people have bouts of anxiety and/or depression but usually unknown to them because they are so unaware of their feelings.
Signs of emotional unavailability include fear of intimacy, trouble expressing emotions, and commitment anxiety. “It's not something you can fix for them, nor is it something they can quickly and easily change about themselves for you,” Jernigan says.
Emotionally unavailable people tend to keep their partners and loved ones at arm's length, rarely opening up or sharing their true emotional experience, and often leaving relationships before they get serious.
Emotional Unavailable People are Not Always Toxic. An emotionally unavailable is someone who finds it difficult to share feelings and to get genuinely close to another. It doesn't mean they don't have feelings — they do — but they can't access or express them, often both.
An Emotionally unavailable person often has a fear or a blockage to emotional intimacy, leaving the other person feeling like they are grasping for more, left feeling misunderstood, emotionally unsatisfied and confused.
Of course, an emotionally unavailable person can change, but like any personal overhaul, they have to want to do it themselves. “The trick is for you not to try and change them. If they feel that they want to be more involved in your feelings, then they will,” Masini says.
Research has demonstrated that we are often attracted to partners who seem familiar to us and have similar qualities to our parents. One of the reasons people are drawn to emotionally unavailable partners is due to the role models they had for romantic relationships in childhood.
Being with an emotionally unavailable man is a daily struggle, but whether he breaks it off or you do, he can still miss being with you. When you are in the relationship, it seems he doesn't care enough to work on it – leaving you holding the emotional reins for both of you.
Emotional detachment can be a serious mental health challenge, particularly when it develops during childhood. People with emotional detachment can experience great hardship, but there is hope through treatment. Emotional detachment can also be a reasonable choice when people are contending with difficult situations.
Many emotionally unavailable individuals struggle with issues of insecurity and low self-esteem. As a result, they often cannot sustain the deep emotional bonds that a healthy relationship requires. This emotional unavailability can manifest in a variety of characteristics and signs.
Jealousy is about a lot of things, including insecurity, immaturity, and fear. What is this? Emotionally unavailable men may experience jealousy more intensely because they bottle up their feelings.
Cancer. It's probably no surprise that the most emotional zodiac sign is also the most vulnerable. "Ruled by the mysterious and changeable Moon, Cancers have a hard time keeping their anxieties and insecurities under control, and are very easily hurt by people," explains Clare.
Virgos tops the list of less expressive zodiac signs. The people who come under this zodiac sign will never speak about what is going on inside their hearts, no matter what! They will always accept the situation and bury their feelings deep so that no one can ever make them utter.
Characteristics of an Emotionally Unavailable Person
The main trait that both emotionally unavailable men and women share is their fear of being controlled, especially in a relationship. For men in particular, a consuming fear is “losing” themselves in a relationship.
One of the common traits of an emotionally distant woman is avoiding all sorts of conversations. When you try, she might appear irritated or might ghost you. She will often make excuses to avoid getting together, connecting, or catching up. Another common trait is, you find her secretive.
The “aloofness factor”—looking desirable, in control, and yet, not being fully present—that unavailable men carry leaves the observer (typically a woman) feeling she has discovered an exotic jewel of wonder, and it leaves her wanting to come closer and to know more about him. 2. They provide intermittent reinforcement.
An emotionally unavailable person is typically not willing or able to truly commit to you and be loyal to you. This type of person will often want to keep things casual and undefined so as to not deal with any of the emotional components that go into a long-term relationship.
Emotionally unavailable men are seeking for perfection for one reason only: they're deeply insecure. Since they're insecure and don't want to show any sign of a vulnerable exposure, they will comfort themselves with the thought that 'no one is good enough' and they don't need to open up to anyone.
At different times and under various circumstances we, as human beings will have varying amounts of emotional depth to give to each other.
Most Empaths are emotionally unavailable, despite being sensitive, intuitive, highly emotional, empathetic, and caring. This emotional unavailability is expressed differently than say, a Narcissist's unavailability.
Often, no contact is the best way to help an emotionally unavailable man or woman feel more in touch with their own emotions and feelings. During this alone time, you can get the help you need from therapists, psychologists or by talking to your close friends and family.