This is because men tend to pull away after sex. During sex, oxytocin increases, which has the effect of lowering testosterone. When a man's testosterone levels decrease, he feels a great need to pull away and may even lose interest for a while. As his testosterone levels rebuild, his interest returns.
So, do guys lose interest if you sleep with them too soon? No. Okay, there might be some hypocrites out there who judge you for having early sex. Realistically however, a guy sticks around if he's interested enough in you.
One of the possible answers to why do guys distance themselves after intimacy is because they are in their refractory period. It is difficult for men to immediately go for subsequent rounds after they ejaculate. They need more time to achieve the same excitement level so that they can adequately satisfy you in bed.
And while some studies suggest that women are more likely to feel more bonded after being intimate, the truth is that men are just as capable of falling head over heels for a woman after intimacy if the right hormones are triggered.
It's all about trust.
Men aren't used to showing their vulnerable side to others, so show him that you can be trusted, and he might just do that. So, do guys catch feelings after hooking up? Yes, they do.
Men can be incredibly insecure after sex, and what he thinks after you sleep with him often flows in that direction. To wit, “I wonder if I was good enough?” is at the top of the list of what guys think after a hookup.
It is quite literally within our nature to catch feelings if we're being intimate with people. Vowels also notes that if you sleep with the same person frequently, you'll likely “associate that release of oxytocin and the feelings it brings with that person”.
A recent survey of 1,000 18- to 35-year-old women found that over 83 percent felt that men will lose interest and respect if you hook up with them too soon. But 70 percent of men said that's not true – if they're interested, it doesn't matter. Getting naked won't affect if he calls the next day.
“If he wants to spend the night, that is actually a very good sign. Obviously, this is assuming you have slept together–but if he stays over, it means he likes you. He likes spending time with you and doesn't want the night to end. This could be a sign that he wants to see you again—and soon!”
There is only one hard and fast rule when it comes to finally having sex with your crush: do it when you're comfortable. We expect nothing more, nothing less. Despite what your favorite sitcom told you growing up, there is no such thing as the "three date rule" in today's world.
Something in his life has changed.
This can happen to your guy too. Maybe he's decided he wants to travel for a while. Maybe he has a new job opportunity that will either take him away or take up too much time. These life events happen and they don't always work with someone else in tow.
Men mostly lose interest in relationships if things have started to become too comfortable, killing off the excitement. If things have stayed exactly as they were when you first met, men may start to lose interest. In this phase, you may both stop making an effort to please each other.
If he pulls back or seems unsure, don't keep chasing and pushing. This will just make things worse. If you're at the beginning stages of connecting to a guy and you've just had sex, you don't want to be needy or blow up his phone the whole next day. Play it cool or at least semi-cool.
In plain language: Men often feel most loved by the women in their lives when their partners hug them, kiss them, smile at them, and explicitly offer gratitude, praise, and words of affection. Men also feel loved and connected through sexuality, often to a greater degree than women do.
Say, for example, the three-day rule. Popularized by the romcom, the three-day dating rule insists that a person wait three full days before contacting a potential suitor. A first-day text or call is too eager, a second-day contact seems planned, but three days is, somehow, the perfect amount of time.
If he's affectionate, pays attention to you, and puts effort into the relationship, you might be overthinking the situation. If he frequently cancels plans with no explanation or apology, ignores you, and doesn't initiate conversations, he might be losing interest.
“It's the same with sex and the classic chase - many men find the chase exciting and it strikes their ego to feel they're the one who is finally going to get her attention - and into bed. Add to this the fact that men are very goal focused and an elusive goal can seem all that much more interesting.
A man who values you and wants to get to know you, because he's interested in a relationship, makes you feel special and treats you considerately. While he can be spontaneous, he usually calls in advance to make plans. You spend more time out of bed doing things and enjoying each other's company.
Reminder: Sex, including casual sex, causes the brain to release oxytocin, which makes you feel more emotionally tied to the other person(s). Basically, you're biologically wired to attach to any sexual partners, so it's not only common, it's natural.
Oxytocin, affectionately labeled “the bonding hormone,” is another chemical hormone that is released during sexual activity. It produces feelings of trust, emotional intimacy, relaxation, attachment and contentment between people.
It can also be a way for a guy to feel emotionally connected to you, especially if he's not comfortable expressing his feelings through words. On the other hand, if a guy cuddles you and you're not in a romantic relationship, it could mean that he simply enjoys your company and feels comfortable around you.