Although anyone can do it, love bombing is most often associated with people who have an anxious or insecure attachment style or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). People can also pick up on this behavior by learning it from their parents (like passive-aggression) or from past abusive relationships.
“If you grew up in an emotionally detached and/or abusive family or learned to feel loved by receiving gifts, you may be vulnerable to love bombers,” Dr. Fox said. “This is where a therapist can help you process your past experiences and identify a checklist of what healthy relationships should really look like.”
"Often the partner being love bombed will act out in desperation to return to the pedestal they were once on," she says. "This is a cycle that can devolve with each go around, leaving the victim of love bombing more and more depleted, and more dependent on the love bomber for self-esteem and a sense of stability."
Contrary to the popular assumption, not all love-bombing is calculated or intended to be harmful. The behavior ranges from being something that is relatively innocent albeit naïve, to being emotionally devastating or even life-threatening, such as when carried out by leaders of cults.
Love bombing is where an abusive partner is bombarding 'love' onto their victim and is part of emotional abuse and coercive control. It could include excessive affection, excessive compliments, declarations of love, gifts and praise.
Love bombing is commonly associated with narcissism. People with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) see themselves as special and deserving of admiration. They feel entitled and disrespect the needs of others. This does not stem from self-love but rather the fear of being undesired.
Simply put, love bombing is an attempt to use attention and affection to influence another person. The term reportedly originated with the Unification Church of the United States, a religious organization with roots in South Korea, who used the term to convey genuine love and interest shown to others.
Love bombing can happen intentionally or unintentionally. Although it's most often recognized by romantic partners, your family members and friends can love bomb you, too. It's usually driven by a person's insecurities, inability to trust and dependence on other people.
Love bombing typically takes place during a courtship phase that can last days or weeks. It may even last for months if you seem more resistant. Ultimately, there's no set timeline for love bombing. It can continue until your partner feels they've established the necessary level of control.
By definition, love bombing, is when a person in the early stages of dating showers you with attention, compliments and gifts. This is a strategy employed by people who are narcissistic to ultimately control their partner. Genuine interest, on the other hand, is sincere.
When love bombing ceases, anxiety increases. And unfortunately, the next stage is devaluation. When devaluation happens, the narcissistic relationship turns into an addictive cycle where the non-narcissistic person is trying to get back to the love bombing stage.
Generally, love bombing will last for a few weeks to a few months. Love bombers tend to continue until the person is either sufficiently seduced or makes it clear they won't succumb to their efforts. Many people will see the exaggerated gestures and declarations as a red flag and get out.
Set boundaries to assert your independence. One of the best ways to save yourself from being love-bombed is to speak up. Communicate about your romantic expectations and set clear boundaries. Be clear about what you really want.
By love bombing, a person is able to gain control quickly and manipulate their victim for selfish needs and wants. Love bombing creates dominance in a relationship as the love bombed will continue to seek their partner's affection after it ends. It can also make them feel obligated to stay in a relationship.
The biggest secret about why men find vulnerability attractive, in the bedroom or otherwise, is this: We need women to inspire us to show our deeper feelings, so we can feel safer with them and they can feel safer with us. But it's hard for men to be emotionally vulnerable even though, deep down, they want to be.
What Is Future Faking? "Future faking is when someone uses a detailed vision of the future to facilitate the bonding and connection in a romantic relationship," Greg Kushnick, PsyD, a psychologist based in New York City, told Health. It's generally something narcissists do, added Dr.
Gray rocking, or the grey rock method, is a tactic some people use when dealing with abusive or manipulative behavior. It involves becoming as uninteresting and unengaged as possible so that the other person loses interest. Some people anecdotally report that it reduces conflict and abuse.
If you reject the love bombing, the love bomber may not respect your wishes. They may try to gaslight you, so you question your own reality. They may try to convince you that it is true love and it is sincere. It's important to create healthy boundaries in any relationship.
At the most basic level, the difference between love bombing and infatuation is that love bombing is an active, external behavior. Infatuation, on the other hand, is a much more internal and passive process. The motivation for each behavior also differs.
Love bombing is most common among narcissists and goes hand-in-hand with other toxic relationship traits including gaslighting and emotional abuse. "While intoxicating at first, the period of intense seduction is inevitably followed by very sudden denigration," explains Dunne.
In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
You have low self-esteem.
Narcissists can appear as if they are coming to your rescue, ready to lift you up, and they often start a relationship by love-bombing you. In reality, though, narcissists only use your insecurities to inflate their ego and to keep you under their control.
They will treat you with respect. They will listen to your feelings. They will respect your boundaries. They will take responsibility for their actions.
Love bombing can last from weeks to years, but anecdotal data suggests the most active phase lasts 3 to 32 weeks. An un-cited study claims that both grandiose and covert narcissists reported love bombing for 25 weeks.
According to relationship therapists at Insider, love bombing occurs when a person you are dating “moves at lightning speed, taking things way too seriously way too early in the relationship.” Therapists say love bombers tend to be narcissistic, with a history of emotional abuse and “anxious attachment styles.”