Majorly, men experience a significant drop in their testosterone levels, and other hormone changes to make them more nurturing and caring for their families. And there is a plus to these hormonal changes – lower levels of testosterone are linked to a reduced risk of prostate cancer and higher cholesterol.
Dads experience hormonal changes, too
Pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding all cause hormonal changes in mothers. However, researchers have found that men also undergo hormonal changes when they become fathers. Contact with the mother and children seem to induce the hormonal changes in dads, the researchers said.
When pregnancy symptoms such as nausea, weight gain, mood swings and bloating occur in men, the condition is called couvade, or sympathetic pregnancy. Depending on the human culture, couvade can also encompass ritualized behavior by the father during the labor and delivery of his child.
Saxbe, an associate professor, recently had a study published in the journal Cerebral Cortex and found evidence that men develop a sort of “dad brain” after their baby is born, somewhat like how mothers' brains change in response to their newborns.
Fatherhood changes men's brains, according to before-and-after MRI scans. Neuroscientists know that pregnant mothers' brains change in ways that appear to help with caring for a baby. Now researchers have identified changes in new fathers' brains, too. Fathers' brains adjust their structure and function to parenthood.
The physical side of a relationship can also change dramatically — thanks to exhaustion, dealing with the physical and emotional impact of the birth, and the demands of life with a newborn. It can take time to feel like having sex again after birth (Brotherson, 2007).
Another study, published in the American Journal of Human Biology, found that expectant fathers experience drops in testosterone — the hormone most closely associated with male sex drive. Different couples will go through different experiences. Some might just have a harder time barreling through.
Researchers have found that emotionally involved fathers feel other hormonal effects: reduced levels of aggression-promoting testosterone; higher levels of prolactin, a lust-squelching hormone that shows up in women during breastfeeding and in men after sexual climax; and higher levels of vasopressin, a hormone linked ...
The expectant fathers showed drops in testosterone and estradiol – a form of estrogen – but no changes in cortisol or progesterone, two hormones that are implicated in stress, say the authors. Past research has suggested that new fathers have lower levels of testosterone, but it wasn't known when the decline begins.
A 2011 study found that testosterone levels in new dads drop below the average levels of non-dads. Other studies have replicated these results and found even more interesting tidbits. For example, the more a new dad's testosterone drops, the greater his involvement is in household chores and baby-related duties.
Indeed, research suggests that fathering daughters changes men's gender attitudes but there is little evidence of change in mothers' attitudes. Among previously-childless men, the birth of a daughter causes a larger shift toward more progressive gender ideology than does the birth of a son (Shafer and Malhotra 2011).
Most times, men greeted the news of an unmarried pregnancy with a mixture of fright and excitement. Except in a few instances, men described the pregnancies as unplanned. They wanted to have kids someday, and becoming a father was something that many of them looked forward to.
New research has found a fifth of couples break up during the 12 months after welcoming their new arrival. Among the most common reasons for separating were dwindling sex lives, a lack of communication and constant arguments.
Essentially, the evidence we have suggests that having children can make you happier. It also can make you feel unhappy, or constantly stressed, or anxious, and so on. Overall, it seems like having children makes your emotional experiences more intense than if you don't have them.
About 10% of fathers become depressed before or just after their baby is born, according to research published in the Journal of the American Medical Association. Postpartum blues are especially common three to six months after the birth, with as many as one in four dads experiencing symptoms.
“There are two major changes that happen, generally the first time you become a dad: hormonal changes and brain changes”, explains Dr Anna. Mum and dad are as biologically primed to parent as each other.
But one of the biggest reasons men cry more after becoming dads has to do with biology: You're losing testosterone and gaining more prolactin, vasopressin, and oxytocin . Those are neuro-transmitter hormones that help moms create milk for breastfeeding, and promote bonding with baby.
Couvade syndrome or couvade is a term used to describe sympathetic pregnancy in men; the word couvade comes from the Breton word couver, which means to brood, hatch, or incubate. In this situation, some men experience symptoms that mimic those experienced by their partners during their pregnancies.
It takes time
Dads develop their bond with their baby by communicating, caring and playing (Feldman et al, 2010). As your baby develops with smiles, laughter and babbling, a true two-way relationship starts to develop. It can take on average six months to reach this point but it will happen (Machin, 2018).
'Research bears out the fact that most men still find their partners attractive after they've had a baby — sexual chemistry is bound up in so much more than looks — but they will also be aware that their partners are exhausted and they'll tend not to be pushy about wanting sex.
Researchers have found that about 67 percent of couples experience a decline in relationship satisfaction in the first three years of a baby's life (Gottman, 2015) and this deterioration often persists into subsequent years (Doss et al., 2009).
We get what the first husband left behind. I call it The Second Husband Syndrome. We are expected to outdo the first husband. We raise his kids, put a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs and food in their bellies.
Personal fatigue is the top deterrent to sexual desire in partners of birth mothers, followed by stress and lack of available time. Sexual feelings, their partner's level of sexual interest, and feelings of intimacy were the top factors fueling high sexual desire.
Johnson, "The relationship burden of having children is present regardless of marital status, gender orientation or level of income." One study found that only 35 percent of unmarried couples stayed together for at least five years after having a child.
It is a normal experience that many people share! However, it's not normal to remain like that long-term. Keep reading to learn how to create connection when you feel distant from your husband after baby comes.