People with high levels of narcissistic admiration experienced less anxiety and sadness after a breakup and maintained positive perceptions of their exes. They were also more likely to initiate a breakup and attribute it to their lack of interest in their ex.
Any type of breakup is hard, but when you've been in a relationship with a narcissist a breakup can feel like it's going to literally break you. It's exhausting dating a narcissist, and it can be deadly to break up with one.
As a general rule, narcissists don't miss or love their exes — but they'll work hard to convince you that they do. Ultimately, people with NPD are incapable of genuinely missing anybody.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value.
It's true: Your narcissistic ex will remember you but not — never — in the way you hope they will, as the “great love of their life”. Most of the time they won't even think about you and you know why: They're too busy spinning their web to snare the next unsuspecting spider.
A recent research study conducted byMogilski and Welling (2017) showed that those who had darker personality traits such as narcissism, psychopathy and duplicity tended to stay friends with their exes out of pragmatism, sex and access to resources.
"The central motivator for narcissists is validation," she explains. "And an ex is often a really interesting place to get it... They constantly need that fresh narcissistic supply, and they kind of know what an ex's supply is like."
The narcissist is unable to feel love, affection, or genuine care for anyone but themselves. If they claim to be feeling grief, what they are actually feeling is the loss of attention, catering, and focus on them. The victim was not just alone in the relationship; they are now alone in their grief.
Narcissists turn on the charm or wrench sympathy from your heart as you break up with them. At the end of a relationship, they want to end it on their terms and will do anything to get back in your good graces. Know that it won't last – they just don't like the feeling of being dumped.
After experiencing narcissistic abuse, you may experience extreme fear or anxiety in relationships with new people. Those who leave abusive relationships may experience separation anxiety, leading them to feel panicked and disoriented when they're not with their abusers.
Because in a narcissistic relationship we have taken on so many of the other person's struggles and so much of their identity as our own, we may feel like we'd be giving up part of ourselves if we were to leave them. If they have become the center of our world, we may then feel lost without them.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.
In the end, aging narcissists become more insecure, needy, and helpless. They regretfully realize that they can no longer charm anyone. As a result, they grow quieter, more submissive, and more lonely. A rough sketch of a narcissistic person shows someone who is in great need of approval and attention.
Not caring is such a power
The narcissist will react in two ways when you no longer care about them. They will either lash out and attempt to punish you for not caring, or they will disappear and cut off all communication with you.
They are likely to give you the fight of your life because they're not done with you yet. Narcissists hate losing their supply, so they won't let you go easily. Prepare for them to promise "to change." They might suddenly start doing things for you that you'd been complaining about.
Narcissists can never really love anyone.
That's why it's important to remember that no matter how happy and loved-up they look with their new partner, it's only a matter of time before they start being belittled and insulted too. Narcissists can never really love anyone.
The narcissist's jealousy will lead them to want to drag you back down to the level you were at when you were together. Miserable and dependent on them! The narcissist's jealousy may even lead them to try and sabotage your new relationship by spreading rumors about you or your new partner.
They will bombard their exes with affection and attention
Some narcissists understand this and may seek to use their ex's attachment to satisfy their need for validation. To this end, narcissists often bombard their exes with high amounts of affection and attention at once to reel the ex back in.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
Do Narcissists come back after dumping you? Yes! They most often come back after ending the relationship if there is still enough supply for them.
Eventually a narcissist will start to move on from their relationship with an empath. They will likely find someone else to spend their time with or boss around and let their previous partner go. This can be a good thing for the empath, since they won't have to be concerned about this mate any longer.