Narcissists crave praise but view it as scarce. As a result, they are unlikely to praise others freely or completely. For example, when you show up sporting a new hair style, they may say something such as,Well, look at you!
Gaslighters/narcissists can never fully compliment someone unless there is an insult tied to it. In broad terms, it's sometimes known as a "backhanded compliment." An example would be, "I like your dress, it almost fits you." The compliment-insult, or complisult, first sets you up, trusting the person ever so slightly.
Narcissists use praise in place of love.
Using praise as affection fosters insecurity in others and gives the narcissist control over their sense of relational safety and self-worth.
Narcissists run the opposite way from gratitude.
There is this messed-up idea in the world of the narcissist that gratitude is a sign of weakness. To a narcissist, they are giving up control over you the moment they express their gratitude. He/she may think they owe someone something out of duty if he/she is grateful.
The narcissist will make a point of withholding something that they know you really, really want. Whether it's a compliment, sexual intimacy, an engagement ring, a gift or quality time together, they withhold as a form of control. They will withhold until you're practically begging to have your needs met.
Narcissists crave praise but view it as scarce. As a result, they are unlikely to praise others freely or completely. For example, when you show up sporting a new hair style, they may say something such as,Well, look at you!
Often, a narcissist will retaliate by ignoring you. This is a means to punish you for puncturing their delusions. They're also avoiding you because a narcissist's sense of self is too unstable to resolve conflict. They are putting you in a position to make you desperate for their approval.
There are four types of people who narcissists tend to be attracted to, according to Arluck: People who are impressive in some way, either in their career, hobbies and talents, their friendship circles, or family. Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures.
Bottom Line. Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
For a narcissist, their needs must always be put first, and they will never reciprocate those feelings for anyone else. The world revolves around them, and everyone who happens to be part of that world should go along with it.
Communal grandiose narcissists also seem to feel good about themselves and have inflated views of how helpful and caring they are. They tend to believe that they will make the world a better place, but ironically, they also appear to be concerned about their personal power as well, although they might not admit it.
You're an empathic person.
Empaths are drawn to narcissists, and narcissists love taking advantage: "Since narcissists rely on exclusive focus and attention, an empathic person would naturally appeal to them," explains Dorfman.
You can expect grandiose narcissists to lash out when wounded. The more insulted they feel, the more rage they're likely to feel. And the more intense their rage, the more viciously they're likely to attack. The problem with them is as insidious as it is tragic.
Being nice to a narcissist can have some unintended consequences that you should be aware of. First and foremost, the narcissist will use your kindness against you. They look at your areas of vulnerability so they can use it against you when they need to feel better about themselves.
Narcissists can and do love, but their love tends to be superficial and fleeting. They can develop intense emotional attachments—even appearing to "fall in love"—and yet still maintain a complete lack of empathy for the object of their affection.
If a Narcissistic becomes nice to you all of a sudden, it means they want something from you, and they can't find anyone else to get the “something “ from. Many people don't know this, but a narcissist is at their most dangerous when they are nice.
Narcissists can be grandiose when it comes to self-serving, unnecessary spending (i.e., buying a designer watch they can't afford), but skimp on the essentials (i.e., food, health expenses, basic household items).
Researchers have found that narcissists tend be more physically attractive than average. Narcissists often play on another's sense of fairness and desire to be liked in order to get what they want.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
Someone who is highly empathic might be drawn to narcissists, and vice versa, as narcissists rely on being the sole focus of their partner's attention.
What is this? Most people send matter-of-fact texts occasionally (especially in moments of urgency), but narcissists often come across as chronically demanding. And of course, they expect you to drop everything you're doing and take care of their need instantly. These texts may come out of nowhere.
Narcissistic silent treatment is when a narcissist ignores and avoids interacting with you to punish, control, or communicate that they are unhappy with you. It's a form of manipulation, and this toxic behavior can negatively impact the victim psychologically and emotionally.