People with narcissistic personality disorders share similar traits with addicts, and both types of narcissistic personality disorder may lead to addiction. Many people with narcissism may also have an addiction to alcohol, sex, drugs, or social media.
The Narcissistic Addict
The narcissist themselves represent a type of addict. They are addicted to attention, drama, and chaos. They also have a deep hatred of the self which they cover with a highly extroverted persona.
In many respects, narcissism can be defined as an all-pervasive obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Attention-seeking behavior—positive or negative—is essentially narcissistic supply. Wanting attention, accolades, and validation are not inherently narcissistic. We all need to feel heard and accepted, but narcissists crave this attention constantly.
Substance use disorders may mimic the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder during active addiction. The symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder may be present before the beginning of a substance use disorder, and substance abuse may worsen them.
Narcissists with low self-esteem may gain acceptance from others or a sense of security through alcohol consumption or use it as a coping mechanism for dealing with distress.
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.
They Face a Setback, Disappointment, or Conflict
A narcissist can become easily enraged if a setback occurs in their life, job, or relationship. Not getting their way results in both a loss of control and a bruised ego.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
They're often introverted, sensitive, and prone to experiencing anxiety and shame. They may also struggle to maintain close friendships as they focus heavily on themselves, require attention, and are hyper-sensitive to perceived criticism.
They may be obsessed with cleanliness, order, details, rules, or schedules. But if their routine goes off the rails, or if they feel uncertain or humiliated, they may sink into despair or lash out with blame. Attention-hungry but stingy in sharing the spotlight Attention is a narcissists drug of choice.
Narcissists can feel emotional pain, but not usually in the same way as others. The emotional pain they may feel is usually related to underlying selfish needs. Underneath the displays of superiority and sense of entitlement, they often feel empty, powerless, and shameful, which they perceive as weakness.
The development of narcissistic traits is in many cases, a consequence of neglect or excessive appraisal. In some cases, this pathological self-structure arises under childhood conditions of inadequate warmth, approval and excessive idealization, where parents do not see or accept the child as they are.
People who are impressive in some way, either in their career, hobbies and talents, their friendship circles, or family. Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures. Anyone who will reflect well on them in the eyes of other people.
“This happens when, again, there's such an inflated view of the self that you're not able to process and respect the needs, wants, and feelings of others,” says Dr. Hoffman. This lack of empathy in narcissists is what makes their behaviors so inherently hurtful, whether they're “trying” to be hurtful or not.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
For the person on the receiving end, someone experiencing a narcissistic collapse may look out of control, extremely angry, and vindictive. In some cases, it may look like someone withdrawing altogether and giving them the silent treatment.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
They have the courage to takes risks and the resilience to bounce back from perceived failures. The narcissistic traits act as a buffer to life's stressors and keep them motivated for change. Failures are not viewed as setbacks, but as ways to re-evaluate what didn't work and to take a new approach.
Drinking alcohol lowers inhibitions and can increase other narcissist behaviors including self-absorption, denial, illusions of grandeur, and destructiveness. These behaviors can lead to poor choices, including drinking and driving or excessive consumption, which can be fatal.
As we get older, we all require more care and support from those around us. An elderly narcissist struggles greatly with the idea of looking weak or relying on others. In response to the natural aging process, they may become more hostile, more self-centered, and more inflexible.
Narcissistic parents are often emotionally abusive to their children, holding them to impossible and constantly changing expectations. Those with narcissistic personality disorder are highly sensitive and defensive. They tend to lack self-awareness and empathy for other people, including their own children.