Due to their low social competence, vulnerable narcissists often do not receive the attention and admiration they are searching for to satisfy their high sense of entitlement. This negative experience contributes to their enhanced levels of (social) anxiety [77].
Some people simply have poor communication skills. However, if an individual continues to communicate in the following ways even after becoming aware, and persists in marginalizing, invalidating, and/or manipulating others, there's a good chance you may be dealing with a narcissist.)
Shy, withdrawn, and socially awkward
Instead of being out there, loud, and drawing attention to themselves, the vulnerable narcissist is more shy and socially withdrawn. In this way, they can appear to be more emotionally sensitive, compassionate, and, yes, vulnerable.
Grandiose narcissists are socially competent. They are likely to be dominant and charming. Vulnerable narcissists, on the other hand, are less socially skilled. They are likely to be shy and anxious in social situations.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Bottom Line. Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
“As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey. Instead, narcissists will only have people in their lives that benefit them; they are very selfish people. “They are number one in their lives.
Some level of narcissism is normal and even healthy and adaptive, he says. It's only when your narcissistic tendencies become a life-disrupting constant that you veer into the territory of a bona-fide mental health condition known as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Embarrassing moments Narcissists take pleasure in embarrassing and humiliating others. They are famous for saying, I was only joking, and expecting others to be OK with the derogatory comments. But when others do the same thing back, the response is a severe backlash.
They're often introverted, sensitive, and prone to experiencing anxiety and shame. They may also struggle to maintain close friendships as they focus heavily on themselves, require attention, and are hyper-sensitive to perceived criticism.
Being Humiliated
Feeling embarrassed or humiliated is painful for anyone, but narcissists are especially reactive to those emotions. To avoid such feelings, narcissists may preemptively humiliate people around them to gain the upper hand.
As stated in the literature review, a person high in narcissism has the characteristics of high trait EI, such as assertiveness and achievement motivation (Foster and Campbell, 2005).
It is a misconception that narcissists target weak, vulnerable people because they will be easier to manipulate. They actually go for the exact opposite. They look for people who are confident, successful, attractive and strong-willed.
They don't stop talking
Since narcissists are constantly seeking approval and favor from their audience, Behary says their constant talking will sound more like a lecture than a conversation. "There's so much showing off and wanting to appear to be very smart, special, knowledgeable, and intuitive," she explains.
Signs a Narcissist Loves You
They will treat you with respect. They will listen to your feelings. They will respect your boundaries. They will take responsibility for their actions.
Although empathy for animals and humans is certainly related, it is possible for pet owners with narcissistic traits, particularly Narcissistic Neuroticism, to have empathy and love for a pet despite having low empathy for humans.
They are punitive with money. Narcissists often use money as a tool for punishment. They may reward you financially when you do what they want, and then withhold money when they feel vindictive. This can feel unsafe, degrading and confusing.
Key points. Narcissists tend to focus on extrinsic motivators, like money and rewards, rather than personal growth and fulfillment. Because money and material wealth are highly important to narcissists, they often become a focal point of their relationships—sometimes resulting in financial abuse.
Narcissists are more likely to wear expensive, flashy clothing, have an organized, neat appearance requiring a lot of preparation, and (in females) wear makeup and show cleavage.
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.