A narcissistic person love bombs so that the other partner can develop emotional, physical, or financial dependence on them. "People who engage in love-bombing are often doing so unconsciously, though they may be aware of the effect their behavior has on others," Behr says.
Love bombing is commonly associated with narcissism. People with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) see themselves as special and deserving of admiration. They feel entitled and disrespect the needs of others. This does not stem from self-love but rather the fear of being undesired.
How Long Does Love Bombing Last With A Narcissist? At the start of the relationship, the victim of love bombing is likely to feel like they are under the spell of a highly potent drug. This phase may last for weeks, months, years, or even longer.
“Those who engage in this behavior often do it unconsciously, though they may be aware how these behaviors affect others,” Dr. Fox said. “It's all about getting the other person and inflating their own self-worth.
They may use flattery and attention as tools to build themselves up as the perfect partner, the better to gain your trust, affection—and, ultimately, adoration. Narcissists often learn through experience that once partners see through their facades, the relationship may self-destruct.
If a narcissist is interested in you, you might notice that they shower you with admiration and attention shortly after you meet them. They might be quick to say “I love you,” put you on a pedestal, and make grand romantic gestures.
In narcissistic relationships, devaluation is the second stage that occurs after the love-bombing ends.
"Most love bombers are doing it unintentionally, or are at least in denial or rationalizing their behavior," Huynh said. Either way, she added, it often serves a self-centered purpose. It's hard to know how you really feel about this person so soon in a relationship.
Contrary to the popular assumption, not all love-bombing is calculated or intended to be harmful. The behavior ranges from being something that is relatively innocent albeit naïve, to being emotionally devastating or even life-threatening, such as when carried out by leaders of cults.
The period of calm after an abusive event is called the honeymoon phase. For the narcissist, the release of emotional energy during a rant is therapeutic. Sometimes, they are even completely unaware of what they have said.
What Makes Someone Susceptible to Love Bombing? Love bombers tend to be impatient. They often value power and control, and they want things to happen on their terms. Even if people “fall hard” in a new relationship, partners in healthy relationships respect that people need time to feel safe.
Narcissistic personality disorder (narcissism) is a psychiatric disorder characterized by a pattern of self-importance (grandiosity), a constant need for admiration and attention, and a lack of empathy for others. Because of this lack of empathy, a narcissist cannot really love you.
Examples of narcissistic rage range from intense outbursts and sudden fits of anger, to passive-aggressive acts such as simmering resentment, icy silence, deliberate neglect, or cutting sarcasm.
Take time to have an honest, open conversation with them about your concerns. It's possible the love bombing you're experiencing stems from a place of insecurity rather than manipulation. That said, you'll need boundaries, too. Let your partner know you won't tolerate love bombing, and don't give in when it happens.
“Some common traits of love bombing include providing excessive amounts of attention, admiration, and affection,” explains Alexander Burgemeester, a clinical psychologist and author from Amsterdam, the Netherlands. “The aim of this is to make the recipient feel dependent on and obligated to the individual.”
“Love bombing is characterized by excessive attention, admiration, and affection with the goal to make the recipient feel dependent and obligated to that person,” explains licensed therapist Sasha Jackson, LCSW. The chilling tactic is often used by narcissists, abusers, and even con artists.
Hence, it is clear that a narcissist rebound relationship may last only a few months. Some break up after a short fling of two to three weeks, while others end the relationship after the sweet initial phase ends in just a few months.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
The easiest way to do it is to give them attention (the thing they want the most) and then take it away. Start a conversation with them and then turn your focus to another friend or colleague—the narcissist will spiral and try desperately to get their supply of compliments and attention back.
It is a complicated mental illness centering on an individual's inflated sense of self-importance accompanied by a lack of empathy for other people. While this is an intimidating definition, narcissistic individuals can and do fall in love and commit to romantic involvements.
A narcissist will shower you with affection in order to get you on side. They aim to disarm and distract you from their flaws and from the reality that the relationship will be constructed around getting their needs met, rather than real affection. Narcissism is a thorny issue in romantic relationships.
Narcissists may show you love and act in loving ways, but this tends to be conditional, in that displays of love depend on what you can give them in return. For people with NPD, relationships tend to be transactional. Love is not self-serving, proud, boastful, exploitative, or envious.