The narcissist uses ignoring you as a way to punish for some wrongdoing you committed. They don't feel the need to tell you what the wrongdoing was, they just jump into ignoring you as quick as possible to protect themselves from further narcissistic injury.
Often, a narcissist will retaliate by ignoring you. This is a means to punish you for puncturing their delusions. They're also avoiding you because a narcissist's sense of self is too unstable to resolve conflict. They are putting you in a position to make you desperate for their approval.
Rage: Narcissists are insecure and when there is a narcissistic injury to their sense of self, they will rage. This is often done with yelling and insults hurled at the victim. During these rages, the narcissist can be the most damaging in their words.
Basically, the silent treatment is a passive-aggressive behavior by which an abuser communicates some sort of negative message to the intended victim that only the perpetrator and the victim recognize through nonverbal communication.
With an overt narcissist, the silent treatment is usually obvious. They refuse to speak to you for hours, days, even weeks. Sometimes this is while living in the same house. Other times, it's ghosting you or refusing all communication while living elsewhere.
Blaming and Projecting
Narcissists are known for never taking responsibility for anything that they are doing wrong, and denying any wrongdoings or negative character traits. They always blame others for everything, even if its clearly their own fault.
Dehumanizing. Much like authoritarian regimes, narcissists classify others as inferior, unworthy, or evil to justify oppressing or attacking them. They may devalue you through dismissive remarks or hostile humor or treat you as “other,” seeking to make you feel subhuman and alone.
The silent treatment, a form of stonewalling, is a tool used by narcissists to punish someone who has behaved in a way they don't like. Most people want to right wrongs and if they feel like something negative has happened in the relationship, they want to discuss it to lessen tension and to protect the relationship.
Does ignoring a narcissist work? First of all, narcissists hate being ignored, so ignoring them may be the best form of revenge. But, it should not be your primary motivation. The most essential thing here is to be mature enough to let go of toxic individuals in your life, no matter how difficult it is.
8 Triggers of a Narcissist's Rage
They don't get their way, even if what they want is unreasonable. They feel that they've been criticized, even if the critique is constructive or said kindly. They're not the center of attention. They're caught breaking rules or not respecting boundaries.
Sometimes, the narcissist doesn't mean to hurt you. Being sensitive to everything is just how their brains work. And if they are — by their own logic — being attacked, they will bite back even harder. However, by their nature, they may also want to hurt you too, because it makes them feel superior.
The narcissist tries to ignore it, talk it out of existence, or belittle its importance. If this crude mechanism of cognitive dissonance fails, the narcissist resorts to denial and repression of the humiliating material. He "forgets" all about it, gets it out of his mind and, when reminded of it, denies it.
Devaluation occurs when the narcissist no longer believes you provide any value to their image or sense of worth. They devalue you to make you feel powerless, so they can feel powerful. The reason that led to the ignoring from the narcissist isn't important because the reason often doesn't make sense to the outsider.
Ignoring a narcissist may result in them trying to get your attention through various means, including apologizing and begging for forgiveness or smearing you to others. If you want a narcissist to go away, you must ignore them consistently and permanently, or they will likely try to hoover you back into their life.
They want to see how much they can destroy you
Narcissists thrive on chaos, so they do not act out of jealousy, as that would imply they want your relationships, career, wealth, or health for themselves. Rather, they just don't want to see other people happy.
It's not uncommon for a narcissist to stalk and harass those who break up with them, to release intimate photos or texts (also known as “revenge porn”) of their former significant others, or to go out of their way to slander the work of someone who does not confirm their grandiose view of themselves as all-knowing.
The silent treatment is one of the most ineffective techniques that you could use on the narcissist in your life. The most effective techniques that you could use (e.g. The No Contact Rule and the Gray or Yellow Rock Method) require you to make conscious and well-informed decisions, the silent treatment does not.
A narcissist will ignore you for as long as it serves them. There are a few things you need to understand. A narcissist is driven, consciously or subconsciously, by the need for narcissistic supply. The narcissist is inherently lazy and will seek maximal supply for minimal effort.
Silent Treatment Narcissists punish by ignoring. Then they let their victim off the hook by demanding an apology even though she isnt to blame. This is to modify her behavior. They also have a history of cutting others out of their life permanently over small things.
Narcissists carry a LOT of shame. From mistakes made in the past, fear of not being enough, to fear of criticism in the present and future. For many narcissists their lives are rather shame-based but, they will never admit it.
Narcissists induce shame in their targets, because it creates the urge to self-sequester. Subtle insults and devaluation are the most common tactics. Nothing is ever quite good enough. Conscientious people want to improve themselves and their lives.