A narcissist's inherent traits mean that they will inevitably treat their kids horribly, and no matter how hard they try to change their ways and put their children first, they'll never be able to overcome the darkness lingering in them.
People with narcissistic traits generally do not have strong emotional connections to their children. Due to this and the fact that they don't put their children's needs before theirs, kids can feel emotionally neglected and hurt by this parent.
Narcissistic parents are often emotionally abusive to their children, holding them to impossible and constantly changing expectations. Those with narcissistic personality disorder are highly sensitive and defensive. They tend to lack self-awareness and empathy for other people, including their own children.
They are emotionally reactive, but shame their child's emotions. Narcissists are often angry and aggressive when they feel disappointed or frustrated. If they believe their child is being critical or defiant, they can lash out.
Recent studies confirm that narcissistic parents are incapable of truly loving others, even their own children.
Through PAS, narcissists use their children as pawns to get back at their ex in an effort to prove their dominance. To protect you and your child's best interests, it is crucial to understand what PAS is and what you can do if you believe your ex-spouse is using this as a tactic with your children.
A good parent is available, responsive, and consistent with their child. A good parent helps their child develop a realistic sense of self by mirroring their thoughts, feelings, emotions, and needs. Narcissists can't be a good parent because they are incapable of having emotional closeness that good parenting requires.
Gaslighting takes many forms, but the purpose is to undermine other people's perceptions through lies and distortions. Narcissistic parents gaslight their kids to diminish their children's confidence and control what they think and feel.
Narcissists 'can never really love anyone'
"Narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths do not have a sense of empathy," she told Business Insider. "They do not and will not develop a sense of empathy, so they can never really love anyone." This doesn't change when they have children.
Children who grow up with a narcissistic parent tend to suffer from at least some of the following as children and as adults: anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, self-doubt, self-blame, indecision, people-pleasing tendencies, difficulties with emotional intimacy, and codependent relationships.
A narcissistic father may ruthlessly bully or compete with his son in games, even when the boy is a less-capable child. Similarly, he may be jealous of his wife's attention to the boy, compete with him, and flirt with his girlfriends or later wife. As a result, Kafka lacked confidence, courage, and resolve.
A narcissistic mother may feel entitled or self-important, seek admiration from others, believe she is above others, lack empathy, exploit her children, put others down, experience hypersensitivity to criticism, believe she deserves special treatment, and worst of all, maybe naïve to the damage she is causing.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
One child is usually the favoured child, while another is the scapegoat. Narcissists often emotionally reject a child that reminds them of their own insecurities and flaws. As an adult, strong boundaries, detached contact, or no contact at all are the best ways to deal with the relationship.
A narcissist will put on a good show for court and shout how they have 'the best interests of the child' in mind, but when you look closely, the evidence will say otherwise. Narcissists are incapable of putting anyone's needs before their own, and can often put the child at risk of harm.
The development of narcissistic traits is in many cases, a consequence of neglect or excessive appraisal. In some cases, this pathological self-structure arises under childhood conditions of inadequate warmth, approval and excessive idealization, where parents do not see or accept the child as they are.
Children of narcissists often end up in relationships with people who have narcissistic traits. These children feel like they can never be good enough for their partner or themselves, so they become codependent on the other person to make them happy and validate their self-worth.
The obsession or focus a narcissistic parent has on a child often has to do with the parent's own emotional needs. Narcissistic parents support children's “greatness” and encourage their talents, with the excuse that they love their child and are sacrificing themselves for the child's future.
According to Julie L. Hall, author of “The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free,” narcissists become more extreme versions of their worst selves as they age, which includes becoming more desperate, deluded, paranoid, angry, abusive, and isolated.
In the stories of adult children of narcissists, its very common to find accounts of rage attacks and of unpredictable, emotionally volatile behavior by their abusive parents.
Narcissists are very demanding and entitled. As a result they commonly set unrealistic expectations for the people around them, including their mothers. The narcissist will expect his mom to be available at all times of the day, paying constant attention to him and showering him with endless affection.
Usually, they harbor deep-rooted insecurity, masked by the narcissism that they cannot tolerate exposing even in the slightest. In order to self-protect, this leads a narcissist to manipulatively shame others to maintain their superior status and deflect any vulnerability.
Common narcissistic traits in fathers include having an over-inflated ego, always needing to be right, and possessing an unearned or false sense of entitlement. Few of us feel that our fathers did everything right as they raised us. However, being raised by a narcissistic father goes beyond these bounds.
Those who have had a narcissistic parent can testify how damaging it can be to ones psyche. Narcissistic parents lack empathy, show a severe sense of entitlement to micromanage the lives of their children, and may even subject their children to neglect, as well as emotional and/or physical abuse.
Signs of a father with narcissistic personality disorder
Reacting to criticism with shame, rage, or humiliation. Constant need for extreme attention. Unrealistic need for admiration & appreciation. Being overly envious to the point of anger.