A narcissist won't appreciate all you go through to accommodate or satisfy them. When you're dealing with an extremely selfish person, it's often easier to let them get their way than to try to make them conform to average social norms.
Narcissists run the opposite way from gratitude.
There is this messed-up idea in the world of the narcissist that gratitude is a sign of weakness. To a narcissist, they are giving up control over you the moment they express their gratitude. He/she may think they owe someone something out of duty if he/she is grateful.
Bottom Line. Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities.
This is especially the case with unsolicited and seemingly inappropriate niceness. Narcissists are very nice until they don't get their way. They are great charmers and can get most people to do and accept things that they wouldn't in their wildest dreams imagine themselves doing or accepting.
Narcissists, however, may show off their wealth to other people. Their loved ones may receive amazing gifts during the holidays, or they may donate a considerable amount of money. The primary goal of these people isn't to be generous. Instead, they are trying to impress others.
They deeply believe in their own attractiveness
Narcissists are good-looking. Or, perhaps more importantly, they believe that they are – and this belief plays a role in how they move through the world: confident in their ability to make other people want to have sex with them.
Divorce attorney Laura Wasser told Insider narcissists have a variety of preferences, just like anyone else, but there are some patterns that are clear. "They often gravitate towards those who can serve their needs, whether it's through admiration and validation or providing a sense of control and power," she said.
The narcissist is more than aware of how potent this phrase is and they're quite happy to use it to draw you in again. "You've got it wrong." Gaslighting and narcissism often go hand in hand, and saying “I love you” is a great way of downplaying some of the horrendous behaviour you've been subjected to.
It is because of this that they may find it difficult to understand other people's feelings or perspectives, a self-centredness that can cause them to act selfishly and exploit others for their own gain. “As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey.
2. They are only generous with money in public. To narcissists, spending large amounts of money on others can be a way to get people to like them. They may be stingy in private, for example, but cover dinner for colleagues or give gifts just for show.
However, there are circumstances where narcissistic individuals will display empathy, which can be confusing. Many narcissistic people who seem to lack empathy for other humans in their lives can express enormous compassion for their pets, and they may overtly express empathy to a sad child or to an injured animal.
Attention-seeking behavior—positive or negative—is essentially narcissistic supply. Wanting attention, accolades, and validation are not inherently narcissistic. We all need to feel heard and accepted, but narcissists crave this attention constantly.
Most narcissists enjoy an irrational and brief burst of relief after having suffered emotionally ("narcissistic injury") or after having sustained a loss. It is a sense of freedom, which comes with being unshackled.
Put Your Needs First. Narcissists make others feel guilty about being happy because they expect everyone to put the narcissist's happiness first. If you're not constantly praising them or accepting their criticisms that make them feel superior, they won't be satisfied.
In fact, the love language of the narcissist is to get you to do all the work of the relationship. They feel “loved” when you are proving your love and loyalty. They believe you are invested into the relationship when you invest more into them than you invest in you.
Some narcissists lie and/or practice love-bombing by overwhelming their prey with verbal, physical, and material expressions of love. Narcissists lose interest as the expectation of intimacy increases, or when they've won at their game.
Narcissists may show you love and act in loving ways, but this tends to be conditional, in that displays of love depend on what you can give them in return. For people with NPD, relationships tend to be transactional. Love is not self-serving, proud, boastful, exploitative, or envious.
Perhaps it is not surprising, but researchers found that narcissists tend be more physically attractive than average.
Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous. And not just about anyone potentially interested in you romantically, but anyone or anything that can take the focus off of them.
A narcissist will idealize their new partner and put them on a pedestal. This is more than just thinking they have found the “right” one (although that is part of it). Rather, they feel they have found perfection, and so, they pour their affections on their new partner.
Primarily, narcissists are attractive because they think of themselves as the top prize, and that factors into to how other people see them. They believe in their own value (on the surface, at least), so their charisma and confidence often makes them the life of a party.
Narcissists can love, but this superficial and momentary affection serves as a way to get what they want from others. While their role as caring partners, parents, or friends may appear genuine, a lack of empathy and devotion to themselves renders narcissists unable to develop meaningful relationships.
Narcissists can exude confidence, charisma, and charm, which can appeal to many people.