How ADHD Affects Friendships. Cynthia Hammer, MSW and ADHD coach, says that in general, people get preoccupied with their own lives, and they often don't prioritize friendships. Someone with ADHD who is also trying to manage their symptoms may find it even more challenging to find and maintain connections with others.
This is especially true for people with ADHD, whose dopamine-deprived brains are in constant need of stimulation. The beginning stages of a relationship can feel euphoric, and — for some — meet a need for novelty and excitement. But on the other hand, ADHD brains become bored quite easily.
Kids with ADHD often invade personal spaces, blurt out rude comments, and play too rough — all of which makes it tough to keep friends.
One of the many ADHD traits that gets misread as a sign of rudeness is the habit of interrupting people in conversations, usually with a thought that seems completely unrelated to the topic. When someone gets cut off, they often think it means you weren't really listening or you don't care what they have to say.
The problem: The social maturity of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD) may be a few years behind that of their peers. In addition, they have difficulty reading verbal and physical social cues, misinterpreting remarks, or not getting jokes or games.
“[People with ADHD] often struggle socially because they may miss subtle social cues; lose focus mid-conversation and realize they've not heard most of what the other person has said to them; or they may impulsively make statements which come across as inappropriate or rude without meaning to,” writes Natalia van ...
It's a common ADHD experience that I call 'involuntary ghosting' - a phenomenon that describes the disappearing act that happens when ADHDers forget to respond to texts.
ADHD may result in some symptoms that can make a person “socially clumsy.” If you often find yourself saying and doing inappropriate things during conversations, you might be experiencing social awkwardness.
People with ADHD often don't do well on tests of long-term memory. But scientists believe that has to do with how they process information. When you have ADHD, distractions may prevent you from taking in information, or your brain may store it in a disorganized way.
The problem is that children with ADHD struggle with executive functioning skills, which enable us to plan, prioritize, manage our time and get things done. It may seem simple to the rest of us, but they have trouble deciding what to do first, estimating how long things take, and staying focused.
Executive functions have other roles which affect how someone thinks. In people with ADHD, these executive dysfunctions impact thinking in numerous ways. People with ADHD don't really think faster than people without it, but it can sometimes seem like they do. People with ADHD do think differently though, in a sense.
Symptoms such as impulsivity, distractedness, and having a lot of energy can be draining on the friends, family, and spouse of a person with ADHD. This is especially true if the person hasn't yet been diagnosed with the condition.
When relationships reach a dreadful stage of being “boring” or “stagnant”, they can become frail. Adults with ADHD can easily lose interest in things that are done in the same old way. Look for new and different ways to bring fun into your relationship, keeping things fresh and anew.
Individuals with ADHD often experience social difficulties, social rejection, and interpersonal relationship problems as a result of their inattention, impulsivity and hyperactivity.
Examples of common ADHD texting challenges:
Forgetting to check or reply to messages. Perfectionism; overthinking your texts, sometimes erasing them completely. Misinterpreting tone of voice (sarcasm, joking, etc.) General social anxiety.
Hyperfocus, or intense interest, is on one extreme, but still tied to the dopamine deficiencies that also contribute to inattention. ADHD is often missed in adults who hyperfocus more than they struggle with inattention.
ADHD is not the kiss of death. The condition, alone, can't make or break a romantic relationship. But, if symptoms of attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) are not properly acknowledged, treated, and accepted, they can — and often do — create or exacerbate marital tensions.
It's not an exaggeration to say that ADHD worsens and prolongs the pain of a breakup, even leading to depression and low self-esteem. Getting over a breakup is way more difficult for us than it is for most neurotypical people.
A: ADHD brains need more sleep, but find it doubly difficult to achieve restfulness. It is one of those ADHD double whammies: ADHD makes it harder to get enough sleep, and being sleep deprived makes it harder to manage your ADHD (or anything else).
Common ADHD-Related Problems
Impulsive spending or overspending. Starting fights or arguing. Trouble maintaining friendships and romantic relationships. Speeding and dangerous driving.
Be on the lookout for nonverbal clues.
These include body language, such as moving away from you, cutting conversations short, or crossing their arms or legs. Also note facial expressions, such as red faces, scowls, tight lips, or hurt or angry eyes.
They might feel badly about the way their symptoms affect others, or they might not care. Although there are differences in brain function to consider, ADHDers can also be just like neurotypical people in that they can have varying levels of empathy.