While many children with autism feel averse to hugging, some children with autism like to be hugged.
A tight hug provides deep pressure, which helps them feel calm and secure. A long bear hug may help them feel better.
It would be wrong to suggest that all individuals with autism have an aversion to touch – some may enjoy it outright, and others may enjoy it in certain contexts or forms, such as a preference for deep pressure versus light brushing.
Some may find it challenging to express love verbally or through typical social cues, but they can still demonstrate affection and care through their actions, interests, and consistent support. That said, autism is a spectrum, and each individual's experience and expression of love may vary.
While this is not typically what you think of with tender, romantic love, it may cause a person with ASD discomfort if someone were to kiss them or hold their hand gently. For example, one teenager with autism who didn't like kissing at all, described that he felt it was just like smashing faces together.
Autistic people do not always pick up on the subtleties of social interactions as easily as their typically developing peers. They may not understand why it is okay to hug their friend on a play date but it's not acceptable to hug a stranger on the sidewalk.
People with autism may get easily attached to people, leading them to become over-friendly. It can be difficult to understand other people's perceptions of situations, therefore what they feel is appropriate, may be considered as socially unacceptable.
Some kids on the spectrum feel a constant need for affection because they are not sure when or if the attention will be available. Schedule 5 to 10 minutes every day when you can provide your youngster with undivided attention (i.e., no computer, T.V., cell phones, etc.).
People with autism often experience love differently from neurotypical people. Their expression of love is less straightforward, as they tend to rely heavily on non-verbal communication.
Some 70-80 percent of people with ASD suffer from hypersensitivity or undersensitivity to neural stimulation through the various senses, including sight, touch, and taste. Some parents of children with ASD report that their children stiffen when touched, try to avoid touch, and prefer to be touched on their own terms.
Touch is an important component of many social experiences for many people. Autistic children commonly avoid social touch more than non-autistic peers. It is generally thought that this is due to autistic individuals experiencing hyper- or hyposensitivity of touch.
These responses are often described as a general hypersensitivity, but they are more complex than that: Sometimes autistic people crave touch; sometimes they cringe from it. For many people on the spectrum, these sensations are so intense that they take measures to shape their 'touchscape.
The Big Hug has been found to be effective because it allows the caregiver to simultaneously apply different amounts of soft, wrap-around pressure to five separate areas for the body. The caregiver or user is then able to release the Big Hug's wraps after the desired amount of individual sensory needs are obtained.
Children with ASD often need a hug, just like other children. Sometimes they need this much more than other children. But some children don't like to be touched. Respect their personal space.
Tactile stimming can include touching different textures, rubbing hands together, repeatedly hugging themselves or others, rolling themselves up in a blanket and so on.
Social-Emotional Reciprocity
On the other hand, some people with autism might overshare and might not know when to let the other person have a turn to talk. People with autism might also struggle to share what they are thinking or feeling with other people.
By nature, humans crave social support and strong relationships. Autistic people are no exception, and they're capable of connecting with others at an empathic level. Their emotions can run deep, even if they have different ways of expressing themselves.
The patterns of these relationships are like those of autistic girls – autistic women tend to have one or two close, intense friendships. Their romantic partner is often their main relationship, sometimes acting as a 'social gatekeeper', meaning that they socialise mainly with their partner's friends.
For instance, it is not disinterest in social interactions that separates autistic people from others or influences their choice to be alone; instead, they have the desire for friendship but are obstructed by the social and environmental challenges they face.
Most autistic people want to and can make friends, though their relationships often have a distinctive air.
Many autistic people have intense and highly-focused interests, often from a fairly young age. These can change over time or be lifelong. It can be art, music, gardening, animals, postcodes or numbers.
Autistic children love their parents
You may have to learn to see how your child expresses affection and not take it personally if your child doesn't show affection in the way that typical children do.