Individuality is important to highlight when raising twins, but comparison is an unfortunate part of twin life. Admitting jealousy can be difficult for twins. They may hide their feelings and act them out in different ways, such as avoiding family events.
Fraternal twins, however, are particularly competitive and sometimes given to intense jealousy. Their rivalry is intensified because each twin has entirely different poten tials and abilities. The I.Q. span of fraternal twins is similar to that of any two children in the same family.
Identical twins share a particularly intense bond. They are the result of one fertilized egg splitting into two, giving them identical DNA. (Fraternal twins are the result of two separate, genetically different fertilized eggs.) As a result, identical twins are as close as two people can be.
It is likely that twins' awareness of one another starts sooner than seven or eight months of age. An article by the late doctor, T. Berry Brazelton, observed that at age three to four months, an infant identical female twin seemed disoriented when her sister was removed from the room.
According to a 2008 study conducted by researchers at York University, babies can experience jealousy as early as 3 months.
By 4 to 6 months, they will turn to you and expect you to respond when upset. By 7 or 8 months, they will have a special response just for you (they may also be upset by strangers). Your baby may also start to respond to your stress, anger or sadness.
A lot of babies and toddlers go through a clingy stage. It mostly happens when they are between 10 and 18 months but it can start as early as six months old. Here we talk about what separation anxiety is and how to deal with it.
Some say that twins are always hard (yet amazing), while others say they truly didn't find them to be difficult. A few said that the first two months with twins are easy (being in the rose-colored glasses phase), then reality hits from months 3-6 (when the sleep deprivation catches up), then it can get easier again.
Bonding with higher multiples can be especially difficult as you will of course have less time with each baby, but even 5-10 minutes each day can help you and your babies develop a relationship where you can see their individual personalities coming out.
Regarding #1 (co-bedding), the conservative/mainstream school of thought in the western world is that it's best to separate the twins “early on” since they'll need their own sleeping space eventually. The attachment parenting contingent refutes this, saying twins can sleep together indefinitely and are happier for it.
Many twins struggle to cultivate their own identities, while being so similar to one another. And that struggle lasts a lifetime, according to a recent study.
Physical Dominance
The bigger twin, one who is physically strong will try to fulfil his or her desires by showing physical aggression. This includes hitting, biting, pushing, threatening to hurt, and destroying the other twin's possessions.
The researchers found that twins at age 7 had I.Q.'s an average of 6.6 points lower than those of their singleton brothers and sisters, and that by age 9 their average I.Q. was 6.9 points lower. Sex, the number of siblings, the mother's age and the father's social class did not explain the difference.
There's a term — idioglossia — for a form of communication only twins can understand. But it's actually fairly rare for them to develop their own complete language — in most cases it's just repetitive babble. These two just happen to “get” each other!
Twins and other multiple-birth individuals can suffer from much deeper and troubling loneliness than single-born individuals. Separation anxiety, which often begins at birth, is the underlying cause of loneliness for twins.
For twins, overcoming disappointments in your twin can be difficult and even brutal. Just as all twins love each other, all twins fight. These fights begin by six months of age and continue on and on. Some disagreements are healthy, normal, and expectable.
There is the increase in just actual care you have to do with two babies. Changing two diapers, nursing two babies, helping two babies learn to sleep through the night, getting out of the house with two little ones. What is this? These things are all hard, but you get used to it.
Attachment insecurity for both twins was higher than in the general population for ambivalence/resistance (34 % (21/62) vs. 16 %, p = 0.024) and total attachment insecurity (35 % (22/62) vs. 16 %, p = 0.016).
It's equally unsurprising that a Danish study found that twins are less likely to get married than non-twins. As twins have a partner from birth, the study suggests that they may not have the same desire for marriage as singletons.
You Can Only Control the Things Within Your Control. “Having twins is not twice as hard—it's exponentially more difficult,” says Natalie Diaz, author of What To Do When You're Having Two and CEO of Twiniversity, a global support network for parents of twins.
Knowing which twin is the older one is usually a no-brainer. The time of birth is recorded, and whichever one is born first is officially the eldest.
Some actual twins have different birthdays due to one being born on one day and the other staying in the womb for days or weeks longer. According to the Guinness World Records, the longest interval between the birth of twins is 90 days.
The start of a leap week tends to be signalled by fussiness, and by the 'three Cs' in particular - these are Crying, Clinginess, and Crankiness. So if you've found that your baby is being a little fussier than usual, congratulations - they're likely to be hitting a major developmental milestone soon!
Months 2 to 4: Your baby will start to recognize her primary caregivers' faces, and by the 4-month mark, she'll recognize familiar faces and objects from a distance.
In fact, it usually takes infants until they're about 2 or 3 months old before they start to show a strong preference for mom, dad or anyone. While a baby is primed for social interaction soon after birth, its abilities are pretty limited.