Conclusions. Being a widower was related to an increased risk of death for at least 9 years after the death of their wife.
Overall, the researchers also found that in the year after losing a spouse, men were 70% more likely to die than similarly aged men who did not lose a spouse, while women were 27% more likely to die compared to women who did not become widowed.
We can live longer, happier lives but until then, we may have to accept that not just anecdotes, but statistics favour the wives: Men often die first.
Or perhaps they are just more selfish. A recent study found two-thirds of widowers were in a new relationship within 25 months, in contrast to less than a fifth of widows. Over the age of 65, the discrepancy is even larger, with ten times as many widowers as widows remarrying.
Studies show that it takes an average of 25 months for a widow or widower to consider remarriage, but this timeline can vary greatly depending on the individual.
Often the second year is the hardest as that's when the real grief work might begin. This is the time when you may be ready to face your grief head on and deal with any issues that are holding you back. If you're not ready yet though, don't feel guilty. There is no deadline and everyone grieves in their own time.
Approximately 2% of older widows and 20% of older widowers ever remarry (Smith, Zick, & Duncan, 1991). The U.S. Census Bureau estimates that each year, out of every 1,000 wid- owed men and women ages 65 and older, only 3 women and 17 men remarry (Clarke, 1995).
One major warning sign is if the widower is still grieving intensely or not ready to move on from their previous relationship. Another red flag is if they constantly compare you to their late spouse or refuse to let go of their belongings.
The reality is, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average age of a widow or widower in the U.S. is currently 59-years-old.
One of the first steps in combating loneliness is being around others who share some of the same interests as you. Try your best to pull yourself out of your grief enough to volunteer a weekend or two each month at a local charity or food bank to help those in need.
There is no "right or wrong" about when you'll be ready. Many people are ready months after the death of their partner, and for others, it takes years. The most important thing is that you have this conversation with yourself, and aren't trying to satisfy someone else's idea of when you're ready (or not).
It's true that some widowed people do move on too fast, because they're in denial and don't want to face pain; such relationships often bear a cost. Still, even for those not in denial, finding a connection remains a huge human urge.
They will always love their spouse.
That doesn't mean, however, that a widower will love someone new any less. “Yes, we can love deeply again. Very deeply,” Polo says.
About 2% of widows and 20% of widowers get remarried (Smith, Zick, & Duncan, 1991). The low rate of remarriage among the widowed reflects age-graded opportunities for finding a spouse.
Widow's fire describes the (sometimes) uncontrollable and all-consuming desire for sex following bereavement.
One foolproof way to be a happier widow is to focus on what you can control (your money, your health, your core group) and let go of what you can't. Settling in with uncertainty allows you to let go of expectations of how things should be and embrace what is. No matter how pissed off you are.
Yes, it's normal for widowers to talk about the late wife and their life together. This need to talk about the late wife and their past life together often helps make the transition from the old to new life.
“My late spouse.”
The technically-correct way to refer to a spouse who passed away is as your “late husband” or “late wife." The term “late” is euphemistic, and it comes from an Old English phrase, “of late." In the original Old English, “of late” refers to a person who was recently, but is not presently, alive.
Even for those without beta-amyloid accumulation and no signs of cognitive decline, the risk for dementia was greater for men and women who were widowed. “Cognitively unimpaired, widowed older adults were particularly susceptible to Alzheimer disease clinical progression,” the study concluded.
A study from the University of Bath in the U.K. shows that the odds of finding love after 60 are 1 in 562 – but only if you leave meeting the love of your life to fate.
Gray (or grey) divorce refers to a divorce involving individuals who are 50 years of age or older. Many high-profile cases, such as Bill and Melinda Gates, Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus, and Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, have brought attention to the growing number of gray divorces.
Many older couples decide not to get married because they don't want to lose spousal Social Security benefits or a former spouse's pension, says Lili Vasileff, a certified financial planner and president emeritus of the Association of Divorce Financial Planners.