They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness. These emotions, however, don't often have roots in empathy.
Narcissists lack empathy and they cannot relate to the emotional experiences of someone else. For this reason, when the narcissist hurts you, they are unable and/or unwilling to understand how their actions negatively affect you.
While being the target of narcissistic abuse is stressful and hurtful, many narcissists are unaware of how their actions impact others. If they are aware that others feel negatively about them or about their choices, they often lack the ability to take responsibility for their actions or see them as wrong.
Narcissists – No Regrets Whatsoever
They may feign remorse or guilt in order to manipulate the people around them, but the reality is that they are incapable of feeling true regret. Their lack of empathy means they do not understand or care about the pain they cause others.
When a narcissist is injured, they project all the internalized negative feelings of themselves onto others. The defense mechanisms they use to deal with negative emotions actually help them stay away from the reality of their own trauma and deep seeded shame.
While people with narcissism aren't devoid of emotions, their motivations may be self-focused. They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness.
Silent Treatment Narcissists punish by ignoring. Then they let their victim off the hook by demanding an apology even though she isnt to blame. This is to modify her behavior. They also have a history of cutting others out of their life permanently over small things.
A tactic that narcissists will often use once they realize that they've lost control over you is self-victimization. When a narcissist victimizes themselves it means that they label themselves as victims and blame their problems on external factors.
Narcissists can't take rejection and they see it as a personal attraction to their character. Even after long periods of the breakup, they can't accept the fact that you're moving on. Now that you're seeing someone else, your narcissistic ex would act like a predator.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
People with narcissistic personality disorder tend not to perceive that they themselves may have a mental health problem, and thus may be less likely to seek evaluation or treatment.
Red Flags When You're In a Relationship With a Narcissist
Downplays your emotions. Uses manipulative tactics to “win” arguments. Love bombing, especially after a fight. Makes you second-guess yourself constantly.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
The most effective weapon to fend off narcissists is self-love. When you love yourself, it is more difficult for the narcissist to manipulate you and get under your skin. It will hurt them to know that you do not need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.
Studies show that the tendency to make cruel remarks is a personality trait of narcissists, because they: See themselves as superior and more important than everyone else, and therefore more deserving.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value.
It's true: Your narcissistic ex will remember you but not — never — in the way you hope they will, as the “great love of their life”. Most of the time they won't even think about you and you know why: They're too busy spinning their web to snare the next unsuspecting spider.
Their remorse points inward. They may feel very sad that they lost someone and they may genuinely miss that person. But again, it relates to them. It's because in losing that person they lost access to their “narcissistic supply” (of validation, adoration, or sex).
Grooming a person, manipulating her into doubting her feelings, generating shame regarding her best qualities, and manipulatively creating dependency are four ways a narcissist destroys a person from the inside out.
Narcissists exploit those around them through gaslighting, sabotaging, love-bombing, lying, and twisting situations to suit their needs. As a result, victims can suffer long-term effects from their abuse.