1) Showering You with Excessive Gifts A narcissist will lavish you with expensive and extravagant gifts. While this behavior may impress you initially, its purpose is to help a narcissist gain control over you.
Specifically, narcissists give gifts with an eye to maintaining a relationship with the giver and to maintaining control in that relationship. You don't get expensive gifts from a narcissist because they think you are awesome; you get valuable gifts because they want you to continue to think that they are awesome.
He/she says you really loved him/her, you would spend whatever it takes. So you buy the gift out of guilt and shame, and wind up paying a large bill later. For the rest of your relationship, the narcissist will bring up the time that you said a gift was too expensive.
Many narcissists will use gifts as leverage in their relationships instead of a way to show affection and that they care… and here are three reasons why it serves their selfish desires.
The narcissist may have plenty of money to spend. Since narcissists put themselves first, they don't buy nice gifts for others unless they're in the love-bombing phase or for various self-gratification reasons. It doesn't matter if you bought the narcissist a new car for their birthday or gave them a kidney.
They are only generous with money in public.
To narcissists, spending large amounts of money on others can be a way to get people to like them. They may be stingy in private, for example, but cover dinner for colleagues or give gifts just for show.
Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
"You're a bad person." "Nobody else will ever love you." "I'm the best you'll ever have." "Have fun being alone for the rest of your life."
Narcissists seek out an endless supply of validation, attention, and praise to compensate for low self esteem, confidence, and a perceived lack of acceptance that's often a result of early childhood trauma and attachment issues.
Narcissists require loyalty. That being said, the loyalty is only one way. Many narcissists demand loyalty from their partners, while hypocritically betraying the relationship themselves; sometimes by even cheating on their partners, with no remorse.
The capacity to feel and express genuine gratitude is a hallmark of psychological maturity and health. In fact, an inability to say thank you, along with extreme difficulties saying sorry, is considered typical of people with narcissistic personalities.
One of the most common early indicators of narcissism is what's known as the love-bombing phase. At the beginning of the relationship, the narcissist will often come on very strong, put you on a pedestal, and make you feel incredibly special.
Narcissists often look for victims who struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. People who think less of themselves and struggle with the “I am not enough” mindset tend to attract toxic partners. People with self-esteem issues tend to think of themselves as imperfect or unlovable.
Some typical examples of bait include: Fear-provoking & scaremongering - these include any attempts to illicit fear and anxiety in you or others. A narcissist will seem to inherently attune to your specific fears, insecurities or anxieties. Intrigue - classic narcissistic fishing technique of trying to pull others in.
Spotting red flags: signs of love bombing
They buy over-the-top gifts gifts for you or spend excessively on you. They bombard you with compliments. They communicate with you relentlessly. They push for commitment early in the relationship.
Narcissists view partners as trophies under their power and may expect partners to show deference and adoring behavior throughout the relationship. Manipulation of a partner is emotional abuse, and narcissists resort to some pretty low behaviors if they feel that they are losing their hold on a partner.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others.
8 Triggers of a Narcissist's Rage
They feel that they've been criticized, even if the critique is constructive or said kindly. They're not the center of attention. They're caught breaking rules or not respecting boundaries. They're held accountable for their actions.
Here are some narcissism red flags to look out for: Lacking empathy. They seem unable or unwilling to have empathy for others, and they appear to have no desire for emotional intimacy. Unrealistic sense of entitlement.
narcissists' interest in consumer products, whether bought for themselves or for others, is strongly driven by the power of those products to positively distinguish them. Narcissists feel better about themselves because they think they have succeeded in' individualizing' or elevating themselves.
Narcissists are some of the most generous people you will ever meet. In many ways, they define themselves by how well they are able to please others, since it reflects back on being able to please themselves. Narcissists require a lot of gratitude and positive feedback.
Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.